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The Frank Report XXVII

Welcome to another edition of the Frank Report, and it’s more doom and gloom this week I’m afraid. Covid cases have hit a record high in the UK with daily symptomatic infections ‘soaring’ to 351,546. And yet, Britons are not nearly as terrified as they should be – only three in ten of us are […]

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The Frank Report XXVI

As a rule of thumb, the Frank Report endeavours to cover all the major stories from the past week. The resignation of Boris Johnson however, does require a little more than a paragraph. As the nation bids farewell to Bozza, stabbed in the back more times than a Julius Caesar understudy, we reflect on his

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The Frank Report XXV

Welcome to a financially turbulent edition of the Frank Report. If you’re feeling the pinch these days don’t worry – you’re in good company. Even at the palace, rumours are that Her Majesty is having to tighten the purse strings. Since Covid, the Royal coffers are short to the tune of £14M, which leaves The

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The Frank Report XXIV

It’s been an abortion-heavy week, as the United States reappraises sanctity of life versus a woman’s right to choose. A cursory glance at the recent Supreme Court ruling appears to indicate America’s preference for chaperoning foetuses safely through the uterus, just long enough to give them the Covid vaccine; which should finish the job properly.

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The Frank Report XXIII

Welcome to a special Father’s Day edition of the Frank Report – the special being that  in 2022, fathers are increasingly in short supply. As gas hits $5 a barrel, toxic masculinity it seems has done a runner. Prospective fathers are now shunning a bit of how’s your father, for fear of the dreaded monkeypox.

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The Frank Report XXII

Another Sunday, another breakfast in bed (I trust?), and we look back on another Royal-heavy week together, as yesterday marked the Queen’s official 96th birthday. As one approaches one’s centenary, it would be nice to put one’s feet up a little. Sadly, I fear Her Majesty is going to spend the weekend deciding which member

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The Frank Report XXI

Most of the news this week has been overshadowed by the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee celebrations. We at The New Conservative sincerely congratulate the monarch – in a world of instability, sycophants and scumbags, she is what my dad would have referred to as ‘a stayer’. And although she has always pooh-poohed the idea of abdication,

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The Frank Report XX

So many ch-ch-changes at Pandemic HQ this week, David Bowie should be demanding royalties. The Monkeypox has now been permanently substituted for Covid, it seems. Wuhan’s top scorer had a blinding first half, but it’s been a while since it threatened a lockdown.  Still, the new signing is already racking up the sponsorships deals. Belgium

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