Most of the news this week has been overshadowed by the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee celebrations. We at The New Conservative sincerely congratulate the monarch – in a world of instability, sycophants and scumbags, she is what my dad would have referred to as ‘a stayer’. And although she has always pooh-poohed the idea of abdication, […]
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So many ch-ch-changes at Pandemic HQ this week, David Bowie should be demanding royalties. The Monkeypox has now been permanently substituted for Covid, it seems. Wuhan’s top scorer had a blinding first half, but it’s been a while since it threatened a lockdown. Still, the new signing is already racking up the sponsorships deals. Belgium
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Anyone planning on playing pandemic this weekend will be waking up to bad news: Covid infections are down again to 1 in 50 according to the Office for National Statistics. Still, if you can’t live without your mask and your 17th booster shot hope is at hand in the form of monkeypox. Our primate cousins
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It’s been a bit of a Khant-heavy week, as London Mayor Sadiq flew to the US to ‘bang the drum’ for London. While discerning Americans might consider that an ungracious reference to Hilary Clinton, it was tremendously public-spirited nonetheless; he did also acquire some magnificent selfies while he was there, which may compensate him for
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It’s hard keeping track of politics these days, with the plebiscites coming thick and fast. In the aftermath of Britain’s local elections, two things are certain, however: first, it wasn’t quite the armageddon for the Tories many had predicted. And second, beyond the London bourgeoisie (for whom a Labour government equates to an Instagram virtue
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We’re all making ‘honest mistakes’ this week, so let me be the first to admit both the Frank Report and The New Conservative erroneously predicted a win for Marine in last week’s French presidential election. It turns out Le Pen is not mightier than Le Sword, and the globalist cliff-edge la République is driving itself
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The sharks are circling at Westminster, as the Prime Minister’s enemies smell blood (or rather cake crumbs) in the murky Thames waters. Incapable though Starmer’s Labour are of identifying a winning election strategy (or for that matter, a women’s erection fantasy), they seem to have decided that illicit gateau is the hill to die on;
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With the local elections less than three weeks away, it’s been a busy week at Westminster. Keir Starmer may be about as popular as Emily Thornberry at a swingers party in Rochester, but he’s still on course to be PM by 2024. Not only are the Tories set to haemorrhage 800 council seats in May,
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Spring has finally sprung, bringing with it the reassuring end to the tax year. As the nation’s bedsprings creak uneasily at the taxman’s filching hand, all but the most ardent tax avoiders can now breathe a sigh of relief. Still, there’s always the odd one that raises suspicion. Ironically in this case, Arthur Daley turns
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It was harder than usual to identify the jokes this April Fools’ Day, seeing as most of the world is already self-identifying as one. Case in point, which of the following is an April Fools’ joke: A) Pubs are now serving a Ploughperson’s Lunch, B) Disney is aiming for 50% of its characters to be
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