The New Conservative

Frankhaviland

Father and daughter

The Shameless Joys of Fatherhood

One of my most enduring childhood memories is watching Edith Nesbit’s The Railway Children, masterfully brought to cinematic life by the loving hand of Lionel Jeffries. The film’s denouement brought my 6- or 7-year-old self to tears (and still does), but it was not until recently that I fully understood why. Watching the steam unfurl

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Houses of Parliament

The Frank Report LXIII

Welcome to this week’s Frank Report, where in a break from tradition the UK constabularies have actually decided to do their jobs. After a damning report found the Old Bill are solving the lowest proportion of crimes ever (less than six percent), the MET Police are wheeling out stop and search, targeting areas ‘with very

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Houses of Parliament

The Frank Report LXII

Welcome to another Sunday edition of the Frank Report, where regrettably the laughs are a bit thin on the ground. I suggest a large pot of tea and an inexhaustible supply of Jammy Dodgers; if you’re ready, off we go! This week’s main story was the decision of the nation’s financiers to enact a banking

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Houses of Parliament

The Frank Report LXI

Also making the news was the Caliph of Londonistan, Sadiq Khan (peas be upon him), who is determined that the State provide free school meals to every primary school pupil in London from September. ‘The cost of living crisis means families and children across our city are in desperate need of additional support’ said the mayor. When it was pointed out to him that there wasn’t anything ‘free’ or ‘ethical’ about taxing families on the breadline to feed the children of millionaires, Khan is rumoured to have replied ‘It’s only £130M ffs, that’s not even a week’s worth of transgender propaganda!’

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Keir Starmer

Starmer in Store

The year is 2033, and the United Kingdom basks in the unmistakable glow of a decade-long Labour government. Britain has yet to fully leave the European Union, but is getting really bloody close to a deal for full, ‘non-member’ membership. Realignment with Europe has come surprisingly cheap. Thanks to the unique negotiating skills of Diane

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