The New Conservative

Frankhaviland

Houses of Parliament

The Frank Report LXI

Also making the news was the Caliph of Londonistan, Sadiq Khan (peas be upon him), who is determined that the State provide free school meals to every primary school pupil in London from September. ‘The cost of living crisis means families and children across our city are in desperate need of additional support’ said the mayor. When it was pointed out to him that there wasn’t anything ‘free’ or ‘ethical’ about taxing families on the breadline to feed the children of millionaires, Khan is rumoured to have replied ‘It’s only £130M ffs, that’s not even a week’s worth of transgender propaganda!’

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Keir Starmer

Starmer in Store

The year is 2033, and the United Kingdom basks in the unmistakable glow of a decade-long Labour government. Britain has yet to fully leave the European Union, but is getting really bloody close to a deal for full, ‘non-member’ membership. Realignment with Europe has come surprisingly cheap. Thanks to the unique negotiating skills of Diane

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Houses of Parliament

The Frank Report LX

There was an interesting incursion into the free speech debate this week, as Taliban leader Anas Haqqani appeared to endorse Elon Musk over Mark Zuckerberg. ‘Twitter doesn’t have an intolerant policy like Meta’ Haqqani wrote, while live-streaming his latest bombing. ‘Sure, we cut people’s hands off and burn them alive if they step out of line, but at least we don’t harvest their data’. 

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Cricket

Cricket Elitism: Yes, Please!

Sport embraced non-white athletes decades before racial prejudices begun to break down, for the obvious reason that winning is all-important. After all, the great Joe Louis fought Max Schmeling at the height of segregation—not because he was black, but in spite of it. Sport is the fairest pursuit of them all: a quest for distinction, which fundamentally demands both the selection of, and guarantees the victory to, the best players. 

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Le Pen

Le Pen Must Prove Mightier Than Le Sword

Perhaps it is just as well for France that Macron cannot run for a third successive term in 2027. Perhaps it is just as well for him, seeing as Marine Le Pen is well on course to oust him anyway. Macron or not, this is a defining moment for the West—whether it will regain its sense of national pride, or whether it will fall. Diversity is not our strength—how much longer must the innocent pay the price for this lie?

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Houses of Parliament

The Frank Report LIX

It’s been a bumper week for Britain, as the nation’s premier sacred cow celebrated her 75th birthday (no, not Diane Abbott you bastards!), our glorious NHS; the envy of the world. It’s unclear what sort of gift a grateful nation should bequeath a septuagenarian recluse on her last legs, but I’d have thought euthanasia should

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