Welcome to a special Mothers’ Day edition of the Frank Report – and if you are a mother, might I suggest you reach for that gin and tonic a little earlier than usual? Instead of the customary lie-in and breakfast in bed, that extra hour’s kip may have brought a few changes to your household. […]
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This week brought us Equal Pay Day, a chance for liberals to demand teaching assistants earn the same as chemical engineers. That’s just as well, because the chemical sciences have more pressing problems to deal with – namely, ‘pervasive racism’. Flicking through my Encyclopedia Britannica List of everything that’s racist, volume 68,042, I can’t help
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International Women’s Day kicked the week off, and as is customary, the cock was optional. It’s nice to see women taking the lead for once, with men playing a more supportive role. Getting us underway was Labour’s Claudia Webbe, who tweeted ‘Nuclear weapons are not good for the survival of humanity. They must be eliminated.’
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The only thing worse than virtue signalling, is other people doing so on your behalf. I trust therefore, that you’ve all poured yourself a large VAT (vodka and tonic, for those not overly familiar with Arthur Daley), and let us begin. There was sad news from the Welsh town of Colwyn Bay, where Tom Mansfield
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It is with regret that a sombre mood has gripped us this week, and the jokes are a bit thin on the ground. First we had the (thankfully false) rumours that her Majesty had died after contracting Covid. Rumours first circulated by the blog, Hollywood Unlocked, who quickly apologised for the story; but not before
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Gender’s a tricky subject these days, with boys and girls encouraged to chop and change the contents of their pants like we used to collect Panini stickers. That’s worked out well for ‘transgender’ swimmer Lia Thomas though, who broke the Ivy League 500M freestyle record so clearly, she had time for a shower and a
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Good news this week for GCSE and A-level students, who are going to be graded ‘more generously’ in 2022 to make up for the Covid disruption. Examinations will be limited to a single question, asking pupils to indicate which grade they identify with. Glad tidings too for Jess Phillips, who was reportedly paid £15k for
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Amid the growing turmoil at Number 10 this week, were reports that Boris Johnson’s enemies have decided to switch the attack to wife Carrie. Former chief advisor, Dominic Cummings, opened the bidding by labelling the PM ‘a babbling fuckwit, who is scared to stand up to his wife’, which has got to be up there
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Shocking revelations this week, as arch-remainer Michael Heseltine announced Boris Johnson’s removal would be a chance to reconsider Brexit. Yes, as the whipped cream of cake-gate threatens to go off, the patron saint of sore losers still wants to have his Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte and eat it. Meanwhile, Liz Truss stands accused of actually using government property for
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More shock revelations this week, as it transpires northerners mysteriously bought more alcohol during lockdown; feminists rage at the AA for refusing to prioritise stranded female drivers – equal treatment (except in emergencies, obvs), and Health Secretary Said Javid admitted daily government figures ‘might’ be unreliable, with high Covid death rates skewed by people who died from
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