This week saw the opening of Parliament, and the swearing in of MPs old and new. Freshly-appointed Minister for Jihad, Naz Shah, pledged her allegiance to King Charles III (peas be upon him) via the Koran. Clive Lewis, Minster for Arseholes, whined that the nod to the Monarchy really went against his principles, but not […]
The Frank Report LXXX Read More »
I am most grateful to all the fans of The Frank Report, who have written in to demand its reinstatement. Please understand that while I do my best, I am beset from all sides by unruly children, distempered dogs, disobliging fishwives – and that’s just the newly-assembled Starmer Cabinet! That said, we’re all here now
The Frank Report LXXIX Read More »
Ladies and gentlemen, the hour has come. After an interminable four-week general election campaign, mercifully spirited by the 100% proof charisma of Nigel Farage and the increasingly erratic behaviour of Sir Ed Davey (whose suicidal attempts to relieve himself of the Liberal Democrat leadership have been cruelly mistaken for bungee jumps), we have arrived at
The New Conservative Election Special Read More »
Dear readers, it’s been a while, but with the general election just 10 days away we thought it was time The Frank Report made a Farage-esque comeback. And thank Christ for Nigel, without whose participation this election campaign would have remained the dullest since John Prescott tried convincing would-be voters by punching them in the
The Frank Report LXXVIII Read More »
(Photograph: Chatham House, CC BY 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons) Unlike the majority of the electorate, I confess myself concerned about the impending Keir Starmer administration in a way I wasn’t concerned about Jeremy Corbyn. I humbly suggest the rest of you ought to be concerned too. Granted, Magic Grandpa was more lunatic than maverick,
Don’t Be Deceived by Starmer Read More »
The stark divide between genuine inequality and that which the grievance industry claims to be fighting, is now at comedic proportions. ‘I was the first Muslim leader of a western democracy, and I say Islamophobia has poisoned our politics’ Humza Yousaf told us earlier this week, without a trace of irony. That’s right Humza baby!
The Hidden Perils of Equity Read More »
An enduring truth of the horrors of war, is that those who survive them rarely speak thereof. It’s always those who managed to avoid combat that love to regale strangers with tall tales. The same, I believe, goes for the experience of genuine hardship. Those who escape abject poverty have scant reason to relive the
It’s been a long time coming, but finally, inexorably, like a Wuhan lab leak, the truth about Covid-19 appears to be seeping out. Short of running the world’s largest Excel spreadsheet on ‘conspiracy theories which came true’, it appears safe to say that the anti-vaxxers and covidiots among us (other slurs are available from those
The Covid Scam Finally Exposed Read More »
Ladies and gentlemen, I regret we need to have a word about Rishi. While many gaffes and faux pas may be overlooked in public life, an ostensive lack of patriotism from a sitting Conservative Prime Minister is unlikely to be forgiven – particularly with an election merely weeks away. When the likes of Jeremy Corbyn
Sunak’s Mask Slips Read More »
If you’ve spent any length of time becoming good at something, it’s rather depressing to acknowledge that artificial intelligence is destined to prove the death of it. Obviously as a writer, I’m concerned that the neural networks will inevitably outsource my ability to procrastinate, drink tea, and occasionally come up with a half-decent one-liner. Evidently,
The ‘Whiteness and Racism’ of Classical Music Read More »
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