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Tories Chicken Out

Like many of you, I am a sufferer of Conservative estrangement syndrome. However, it was only yesterday that I ruled out voting for them at the next election.

About a year ago my attention was drawn to a consultation being conducted by DEFRA (Does everything effing rong again), into the registration of small flocks of poultry. As it stands, those who own more than 50 hens are required to register their flocks, which I suppose can be understood as ‘producing up to 50 eggs a day is more a business than a hobby’.

As it turned out, I was one of the 87% of respondents who objected to the idea. The consultation was a complete (and expensive) waste of time, because DEFRA had clearly decided that this was a policy they should enact, and announced this week its implementation as of 1st October.

The reason given is to make it easier to advise owners in the event to avian flu. This is as bogus as much of the information and guidance that was put out during the last wave of avian flu. Clearly as people who keep poultry, we are deemed incapable by politicians and bureaucrats of using our own judgement as to how best to look after our own chickens. The real reason is because British politicians and bureaucrats get very uneasy when they come across the ‘little people’ exercising their freedom to do something without recourse to officialdom.

I can hear you thinking ‘what is this man on about, it doesn’t sound like a big deal to me?’ Not surprisingly I beg to differ, especially as if I fail to register my chickens I will incur a fine of up to £5000 or a prison sentence of 6 months. In other words, from October 1st 2024 a so-called Conservative government has legislated to make it illegal to own a single garden chicken if it is not registered with DEFRA. So, I and up to a million others run the risk of a criminal record unless we either cull our birds or register them prior to that date. The courts are suffering legal prolapse, the police have record numbers of unsolved crimes and the prisons are overflowing, so what better way of helping the situation than to create a new offence!

The interesting thing is the authorities have not said how this is going to be enforced – to register a million small flock owners is quite a serious undertaking. Making sure that all flocks are registered is going to no doubt require an inspectorate, or perhaps they will rely on satellite imagery? But someone is gong to have to visit to be sure, will this be the police? In Scotland where I am writing this, they are already behaving like headless chickens as they come to terms with the new censorship act, so they might be looking for some easy targets to criminalise. They were elected on a manifesto to reduce red tape, instead they seem to relish tying  us all up in knots with it.

If this Government was actually Conservative, they would not even have contemplated this ridiculous policy. Instead, they would have applauded and sought to encourage more people to join the poultry owing ranks. Anything that encourages people to produce their own food, or work with animals should be seen as positive. This new regulation mainly targets chickens kept to produce eggs for friends and family that also create nitrogen rich manure for the vegetable patch.

Keeping chickens is a fundamental freedom for country people and also many in the suburbs and our towns and villages. There is absolutely no need for this new law and it should be dumped immediately. Not even Stalinist Russia or Mao’s China required you to register your poultry.

However, this law follows  a pattern with the current Government: they avoid dealing with the real problems facing the county by looking to reduce the freedom and self-determination of groups they think won’t fight back. We have had smokers, vapers, private landlords and now small flock chicken owners.

Enough is enough. We need a political party that will take a chainsaw to the statute book, reducing the number of laws to only those that are important such as theft, rape, murder, mugging etc. The police must be instructed to simply enforce the law, and once more become an apolitical body. The British people can look after themselves, all they require is a government which will effectively deal with the real problems facing the country, and cut the state’s cloth to the resources available.

As yet I have not found such a party that I can have confidence in, but Sunak’s Conservatives will definitely not get my vote as long as my fundamental freedom as a countryman to have chickens in my garden is under attack.

 

Alastair MacMillan runs White House Products Ltd, a manufacturer, distributor and exporter of hydraulic components to over 100 countries. He is a supporter of the Jobs Foundation.

 

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4 thoughts on “Tories Chicken Out”

  1. How rediculaus is this new regulation, I live in a village in Lincolnshire and about 6 households keep a small number of chickens, eggs for friends and family, why would they register. My Conservative Party has lost its way and like you sadly my vote eleswere!

  2. Nathaniel Spit

    Most obvious reason behind this has escaped the writer, TPTB are still keeping chickens on the back burner ‘cos avian flu might be the trigger for the next Covid fake pandemic and the release of a new wonder vax (plus independent food production is also increasingly frowned upon under Net Zero).
    They might have reintroduced dog licences and made licences mandatory for cats and budgies as well but fear the wrath of millions of pet owners might be a bridge too far (for now). The water has though been tested with chipping for cats, has this failed?
    Will no one free us from this incessant prying into our private lives? Seemingly not, and one can’t help but wonder what next we’ll be required to register or face fines or prison?

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