A recent wave of asylum seekers is unhappy with their free accommodation, claiming that it was: “Not as nice as in pictures.” The news reached the Middle East where Arab News gleefully reported that they were protesting by sleeping in the street outside. Their beef is that they had to share rooms.
Richard Rice of Reform UK was on the scene to gain an interview with one of the complainants:
Asylum seeker complains: size of room, bathroom too small & bad wifi in his Central London hotel & not enough weekly money. Been here 2 years
I apologise on behalf of British taxpayers for the poor wifi… pic.twitter.com/s25DBwsO0i
— Richard Tice 🇬🇧 (@TiceRichard) June 2, 2023
These jolly fellows have form. Last year another bunch complained that their accommodation was like being in jail (don’t give the Home Office any ideas chaps) and that they were ‘bored.’ It seems they may have missed the queues of people seeking admission to their countries to occupy the luxury accommodation which they recently vacated.
When I was deployed to the First Gulf War, I shared with two others in a room barely fit for one person in the middle of the desert, with the added attraction of Scud missiles flying overhead. We had communal ablutions and everything we ate came with a liberal sprinkling of sand. Did we complain? Actually, we did but only to each other.
Well Ahmed, Ali and Muhammed, welcome to the real world where few things are actually as they seem. Wait until you try buying a house. What bears a remarkable resemblance to the Taj Mahal on the estate agent’s website will turn out to be little more than a shoebox when you go to view it.
Fancy a holiday? Tell us all about it when the impressive façade of your hotel in the travel agent’s website turns out to be just that; a façade behind which there is a building site. Your actual room is in an annexe 500 yards down a dusty track with no running water and overrun with cockroaches (as literally reported to me by one of my sons and his new bride on their honeymoon).
Fancy some sex? You go online for a ‘delivery’ and select the most nubile looking teenager from the website, click, pay and wait for the knock on the door. You thought you were getting Feline Celine from Ukraine. Instead, what turns up is Anushka the Babooshka fresh in from the gulag whose ‘speciality’ involves removing her dentures.*
A few months of British citizenship and you’ll be heading the other way over the channel on your dinghy and begging to be let back into your country of birth.
I’m not going to fall into the trap, thus risking the recording of a non-crime hate incident by my local plod, of telling them all to go back to their own countries. I have no doubt some of the places they come from are, indeed, hell holes. If they are a genuine asylum seekers or immigrants with something to contribute to our crumbling country, then they are welcome. But a bit of gratitude would go a long way.
A South Asian immigrant friend, who also happens to be godfather to one of my sons, told me about coming to another country. The key thing, he said, was ‘fitting in’ and not making waves. Seems like good advice to me.
*your correspondent has no direct experience of this, but he has heard stories
Roger Watson is a retired academic, editor and writer. He is a columnist with Unity News Network and writes regularly for a range of conservative journals including The Salisbury Review and The European Conservative. He has travelled and worked extensively in the Far East and the Middle East. He lives in Kingston upon Hull, UK.
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