I have long considered my wife to be a lazy old thing. While I am hard at work at the football or down the pub, I often come home to find my dinner is not on the table, the hoover is where I left it for her in the morning, and she is glued to some soppy TV soap – a Scandi Noir with subtitles or re-running The Last Kingdom fast-forwarding to all the scenes with Alexander Dreymon as Uhtred of Bebbanburg wielding his sword (at least, I think it’s his sword). Try as I might I just cannot get any more work out of her. Sometimes I despair and wonder if she needs some kind of therapy or work-oriented counselling. But the situation is hopeless.
At least it was hopeless until I saw a few articles about French politics and discovered a wonderful lady called Sandrine Rousseau who seems to have the answer. She says that: “Women are decreasing the share of housework they do” and that she: “would like there to be a possibility of a crime non-sharing of household chores because I think the private is political.” This is just the kind of tough talking I like, and it has cemented the idea in my head that my wife and I should up-sticks and move to France. It seems like a very enlightened place to me. Apparently: “based on an INSEE survey dating from 2012, women carry out 72% of household chores, for an average of an hour and a half of additional daily work compared to men”. I can only assume that men make a larger contribution to household work; what else could she mean?
According to the Inequalities Observatory: “the evolution of the sharing of domestic tasks has not changed since 2003”; proof beyond doubt that, despite the best efforts of us hard-working and loyal husbands, women are as lazy as ever. But there is room for optimism as, last September, the Observatory pointed out: “sharing was changing “slowly” among young couples.” This is wonderful news; the young have solved a long-standing problem that previous generations have failed to address. Who would have thought? I intend to question a few young couples I know to see how they have achieved this. How, specifically, have the young ladies finally seen sense and taken on a larger share of household work and helped to relieve the enormous burden on young men.
I had to know more about Ms Rousseau and, according to her Wikipedia page: “She is a member of Europe Ecology – The Greens. She describes herself as an eco-feminist.” I have no idea what an eco-feminist is, but I am just dying to meet one. I imagine she’s the kind of girl who would have a chap’s dinner on the table pronto, have the house sparkling and fragrant, always be beautifully dressed and coiffed and still have a bit of energy for a bit of nocturnal gymnastics. And The Greens! Hold me back, this sounds like just the kind of organisation I want to join. After all, I’m a good Catholic and have always supported The Greens wherever I go: Glasgow Celtic or Hibernian, good down to earth Catholic Scottish football teams. I imagine The Greens are just the kind of fun loving, beer swilling folk I like to spend a Saturday afternoon with. I can see it now in the Saracen’s Head pub on Easter Road; risqué jokes, sexist banter, and not a single mention of zero-carbon, saving the planet or giving a hoot about whether there were ten fewer bees this year than last.
At last, I think I have found my kind of woman and my kind of people. If only I knew how to find her and join up. Did somebody mention Grinder?
[Note from the Editor: We contacted Sandrine Rousseau for comment; she respectfully declined as she has Professor Watson’s afternoon G&T to prepare. Her views can be read in full at this link.”]
