“Absolutely brutal” was the GBNews verdict on Kemi Badenoch’s attack on Keir Starmer at Prime Minister’s Questions.
Long seen as the Voice of Farage, the channel has been showing some ankle to the Tories recently, their leader appearing on it so frequently they should probably start paying her. To be fair, she does seem to have upped her game. Her response to the Budget was similarly brutal and had those of her persuasion purring as she got stuck into Rachel Reeves. Whether she has got better, or the government visibly bleeding out in front of her has just given her an easier target, we cannot tell – a bull is easier to face when it has some banderillas sticking out of its back than when it first charges into the arena. No matter. She finally, to some, looked like a Prime Minister-in-waiting.
There is obviously something in the water.
Announcing her new immigration policy, the Home Secretary was similarly “brutal”; to some, she was even “savage”. Perhaps, people speculated, she was the answer to Labour’s problems, her use of unparliamentary language showing she had the human touch her boss conspicuously lacks.
His eyes, however, were elsewhere. Boris Johnson was ambitious, but learned over the years to cloak it in a shroud of verbose, bumbling bonhomie. The only concession the Health Secretary makes to hiding his “lean and hungry look” is the faintly puffy features he maintains. Something had to be done. A drive-by shooting was organised, but one whose only victims were the occupants of the car. For Wes Streeting took to the air waves to proclaim his loyalty. He was a “Faithful, not a Traitor”. To many, this was enough. He had vaulted to the top of the list of candidates, not struck down, only made stronger, more powerful than Keir Starmer could ever imagine.
Three people. Three claims to power. All resting on a rhetorical performance.
In the latest Yougov poll, the Conservatives sit on 18%, down from the 23% they received at the election. Despite the government losing 14%, the opposition has contrived to go backwards. They lost 674 councillors in the last Council elections. Large donors have defected. Former MPs have defected. A sitting MP has defected. Still, Kemi can be rude about Keir, and that’s not nothing.
Ms Mahmood has not been in her office as long as Ms Badenoch, but she has not risen without trace. She was the first Justice Secretary of this administration, responsible for prisons and the like. A job which revealed her to be “hard as nails” according to the Health Secretary. Mistaken prison releases more than doubled over her time in post, from 115 in 2023-24, to 262 in 2024-25. She can’t keep prisoners in, so we’re supposed to believe she’ll keep migrants out. Still, she can be rude about Reform, and that’s not nothing.
Mr Streeting avoided being reshuffled, giving him a longer track record. In February last year, the IFS helpfully released three projections for the NHS waiting lists, an optimistic forecast, a pessimistic forecast and a central forecast, what one would expect most of the time. Since then, as the journalist Fraser Nelson recently tweeted, the figures have hugged the central forecast until the last month or so since when they have worsened. Statistical noise? Possibly. Signs of a “Wes effect”? Not really. Before the election, he blamed the government for a round of strikes and promised to do a deal to end them. He did a deal. And the strikes started again, leading to the suspicion that, of the two parties to the dispute, he chose to blame the wrong one. Still, at least he watches popular telly, and that’s not nothing.
Politics, it is often said, is show business for ugly people. This is unfair (possibly wishing to visit America in the future, let me just put it on record that Donald Trump is a veritable Adonis…). But whatever one’s views of politicians’ pulchritude, we do seem to treat it as a form of entertainment. There are stars whom we follow, no matter how poor their last film or album was, and every so often a rap battle is held, two performers dropping disses on each other across the dispatch box as their supporters howl, waiting for the mic drop, clippable for social media. Boom!
Westminster is, of course, set up for this. Not for us the horseshoe-shaped spectrum of consensus of other legislatures. There is a sharp division between us and them. The distance between the benches is defined by the sword-length. Nowadays, we might use the machete.
Rhetoric, communication if you prefer, is an important part of politics. But rhetoric is designed to persuade and, on occasion, inspire. Telling Nigel Farage to “sod off” or Keir Starmer that his colleagues want his job does neither. It satisfies those already persuaded, those who have sorted themselves into a tribe, those who regard the politician as their champion, doing verbal battle with the other side, like a spear-less Hector or Achilles.
There is a world outside the subterranean car-park in the early hours, however. A world of councillors who have lost their seats, a world of people victimised by wrongly released criminals, a world of grannies told their hip operation has been postponed. A world of people, in other words, affected by what politicians do, not their ability to be rude to their opponents. A world in which times are hard and getting even harder. A world in which Rabbit in 8 Mile is a poorly paid worker living in a mobile home and struggling to care for his daughter, not a titan of the underground rap scene. A world in which Eminem is not an obvious candidate for Prime Minister.
But that, it appears, is not the world of politics and journalism. It sways and stomps along as DJ Kemi and MC Shabana drop their latest disses.
Shame.
You only get one shot, do not miss your one shot to blow,
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo.
Peace. Love. Over and Out. Mic dropped.
Stewart Slater works in Finance. He is now also on Substack, where you are welcome to follow him.
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I don’t know how the writer has the patience or energy to write about these no-hopers. KB is clearly not a PM in waiting, she is an ineffectual foreign idiot but thankfully we’ll not have to endure her as PM and like all Conservatives her days spouting rubbish at the trough are numbered.
Stewart Slater writes: “A world of people, in other words, affected by what politicians do, not their ability to be rude to their opponents.”
What I would like to see is a world of people affected by what politicians do, speaking bluntly to them without being told either “be courteous, no point in being rude”, or who are thrown in jail for a “hate” crime.
I’ve written emails in the past to my MP (Westminster) – and more recently, my MSP (Member of the Scottish Parliament) about the dangers of the proposed assisted suicide bill and abortion-up-to (and including) birth, and although I pointed out the sheer barbarism of the latter, and the fear which the former instils in those of us of a certain age (to the point where I’d sooner make an appointment with my – frowning – bank manager than my doctor) but all the while conscious that I must write politely or I’ll get nowhere. I’ll get nowhere anyway, of course, without a huge grace from God in the soul of my MSP, but to speak my uncensored mind would see my email filed under “Junk”.
This emphasis on speaking politely, not “offending” anyone is, in my considered opinion, a disease designed to keep us subservient. And it seems to work. Notices everywhere, from shops to various government institutions, reminding us to be polite to the staff, rudeness etc will not be tolerated. I’ve asked a couple of times, waiting for an appointment, if the staff realise that at one time dealing with an upset member of the public, even quite an aggressive member of the public, was par for the course, part of the training of those in jobs serving the public. That’s, of course I add before they press their panic buttons under the desk, not to excuse rudeness etc. but.. well, just sayin’ – managing annoyed customers was regarded as a skill. Back in the day.
Anyway, forward in the day, looks like Reform more or less has No 10 in the bag, so to speak, although I’m not sure that is the key message in Stewart Slater’s article: perhaps the fact that the alleged “opposition” is keeping up the appearance of opposing the Labour policies is his key point – as indicted by his pointed remark that, “Still, Kemi can be rude about Keir, and that’s not nothing.”
As long as there is the appearance of robust parliamentary debate, the hoi polloi will be fooled. Even as the small boats continue to arrive in droves and the illegal migrants are well looked after by whichever Party is in power, few will notice. I’ve only had time to skim the article so I hope I’m not mistaking the message but, whatever, that’s been my own feeling for a long time now. God help us all.