Woke Olympics

The 2024 Paris Olympics has been blighted by the country’s decision to change the format of the opening ceremony. Formerly a celebration of athletic excellence, this year’s cérémonie d’ouverture was downgraded to an immersive cultural tour; highlighting the French contribution to artwork, full of le wokeism and mistakes. Traditionally, athletes from all countries competing in the prestigious games march into the stadium, delegation-by-delegation, accompanied by national flags, fireworks, exuberant light shows and parades, but this year’s parade did not even make it to the stadium. Instead, the venue was la miserable rivière de Seine, pouring with rain and amidst men dressed as women.

Kicking it off, you need spectators and viewers to make the occasion special, and to help support and motivate the teams. It’s hard to do that however, if you have no people. On the day of the ceremony, the high-speed rail networks were crippled by attacks from saboteurs (appropriately a French word), which was set to affect around 800,000 passengers trying to get to the Games. The Eurostar at St Pancras was disrupted, and those attempting to travel by train were told to find another route. The suspects have not been identified, but there are inquiries into far-left groups who may be unhappy with the election result, and Russia, whose athletes were banned from competing.

The French government had also cleared out all of the asylum seekers to make the City of Love more acceptable and to make more space, but for whom? Air France reports a significant drop in the number of people wishing to visit the city; hotels are emptier than usual, and ordinary tourists want to avoid Paris during the games. The organisers have made every effort to drag people to their games, but have in fact put people off with their ridiculous opening ceremony.

Next, It seems that one of the easiest jobs in the organisation of the night—hanging up the Olympic flag—could be made difficult: the flag hoisters managed to attach the flag to the pole upside down, with the three Olympic rings at the bottom and the two at the top (you had one job!). They also provided us with two other hilarious blunders, reminiscent of the confusion over their flags in London in 2012. The more serious one was when the announcer introduced team South Korea as North Korea, forcing a swift apology from the Korean-language X account of the International Olympic Committee. The other was a potential ‘wardrobe malfunction’ in the Italian dressing room. One of their dancers was caught out sporting a sparkly pants and tights combination, which seemed to have a ‘rip’ in them as you could clearly see his scrotum—à la mode obviously. What a cock-up!

Moving down the river, we were treated to recreations of some of the most famous and celebrated paintings and arts, including Da Vinci’s ‘Last Supper’. Where one might expect to see a depiction of Jesus and his disciples, we were treated to the painting reimagined with drag queens. Christ was portrayed by someone wearing some type of tight blue clothing, and his disciples changed into ‘women’. The whole show was dominated by drag stars and LGBT+ champions, including Lady Gaga and Celine Dion, who wanted to celebrate the inclusivity of French culture. What about celebrating the history of the country, or praising former Olympians who have made their country proud? France is in fact the fifth most successful country in the Summer Olympics, chalking up 223 (and counting) gold medals.

The opening ceremony has rightly faced a backlash from viewers, especially millions of Christians, who feel offended and shocked by the disrespect shown to one of the most important paintings in their religion. Even free speech champion Elon Musk claimed it was ‘extremely disrespectful to Christians’, and Ryan Garcia, a professional boxer, called for a boycott: “The Olympics needs to be boycotted now. You can’t disrespect religion in front of millions. This ain’t right no one watch.” A sponsor for the Olympics C Spire, a Mississippi-based telecommunications and technology company, released a statement on X confirming it has pulled its ads for the Olympics.

I was forced to turn off the ceremony as it was unbearable to watch. What was once a great night of entertainment (take ‘the Queen’ entering on a parachute or Rowan Atkinson taking part in 2012) has now been captured by woke gobbledygook. However, it does not end there: during the first day, the BBC pundits and commentary could not resist the temptation to inform us that this Olympics is the most diverse and inclusive, with as many women as men and more non-white participants than ever. In fact, it is beginning to look a bit ‘exclusive’.

In the last 128 years of modern Olympics, an opening ceremony has never been conceived like this, and there seem to be far fewer vestiges (exposed testicles aside) of Ancient Greece in each and every Olympics. What an ungracious handling of our cultural inheritance. The Paris Olympics may be the most diverse and inclusive ever, but they will undoubtedly prove one of the worst in history.

Jack Watson has a Substack newsletter called Ten Foot Tigers about being a Hull City fan. You can subscribe here.

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