The real monsters in Scotland are the SNP

It seems there is nothing the Scottish Nationalists will not do to push Scotland back into the economic dark ages. This is in addition to turning the country into a left-wing socialist state with severe restrictions on free speech, intrusive and often ridiculous health fascism and anti-Englishness verging on racism. Despite being born north of the border, in disgust at the way my native country is going and increasing hostility from nationalist friends and family, I recently ‘came out’ as English in the pages of Country Squire Magazine.

Not happy with all the above and perpetuating the fantasy of an economically prosperous post-independence Scotland, the nationalists are now taking a swipe at a much-loved Scottish icon – Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster. Now, many say that Nessie is a myth, and I must say that I find it hard to believe there really is a monster in Loch Ness. My father regularly sailed the length of Loch Ness in both directions when he used the Caledonian Canal, which joins the four lochs of The Great Glen: Loch Dochfour; Loch Ness; Loch Oich; and Loch Lochy and its 29 locks to cross between the east and west coasts of Scotland. Another sailor once told him they had picked up a large object by sonar below them in the water in Loch Ness, and there are no shoals of fish in the loch. Naturalist Sir Peter Scott claimed to be a believer and even registered the zoological name for Nessie of Nessiteras rhombopteryx, but this is well known to be an anagram of ‘Monster hoax by Sir Peter S’, so, we don’t even know if his belief was mythical.

Whatever the truth about Nessie, the possibility that there is such a monster is worth over £40 million to the Scottish economy. But Scottish schoolchildren, inspired by some nationalist nonsense if not directly by the SNP, are now being taught that Nessie is a symbol of English imperialism and oppression, and that the story of the monster portrays the Scottish people as primitive and backward. Nessie, apparently, is also a result of the class system, so few of the usual socialist tropes are left unturned. Thankfully Nessie’s gender is unknown, ambiguous even; he/she may be non-binary, so to date Nessie has not been seen (yet) as a symbol of gender critical feminism. Naturally, those whose livelihoods depend on the possible existence of the Loch Ness Monster, have protested against the nonsense being perpetrated by Education Scotland. Telling schoolchildren that the story of Nessie was created early in the last century to attract the motoring middle classes, one of the lines used by Education Scotland, is simply wrong. While the story of The Loch Ness Monster went ‘viral’ (before that was even a thing) in 1933 after the most famous ‘sighting’ and photograph, the first recorded sighting was by Saint Columbus in 565 with regular sightings thereafter.

Really, all this is nothing but a squall on the surface of Loch Ness. Moreover, as reported in the Ross-Shire Journal (which reports all the monster news that’s fit to print) the story may even lead to an increase in Nessie generated revenue. But the real message from this story is how the Scottish political classes blow their bagpipes while Scotland burns and crumbles around them. With the annually increasing multi-billion pound gravy train of the Barnett formula which vastly outstrips the income from oil, whisky and tourism, the nationalists have the luxury of inflicting their vile ideology on the Scottish people and hurling abuse southward across the border with impunity. They simply will not face the fact or come clean with the Scottish people that Scotland—without the annual influx of English money—will become an economic basket case in no time at all. As described by several commentators, Scotland may already be a ‘banana republic’. The ruling SNP are profligate with English money—they have little of their own—in, for example, covering the fees of university students and awarding pay rises to NHS staff above the (United Kingdom) national average.

The SNP see Europe as their saviour, notwithstanding the fact that had the independence referendum of 2014 gone their way, they would automatically no longer have been part of the European Union. In that light, their outrage at the 2016 referendum result which led to Brexit was somewhat hollow. If it does transpire that there is a monster in Loch Ness, then you can bet your bottom Scots pound note (still a few circulating in Scotland) that the first people to lay an exclusive claim on it will be the SNP.