Is anyone else partial to a bit of Reddit? – it’s an online social news and discussion platform that includes, among its many offerings, a Hull-specific community section that can occasionally be interesting. From Reddit we learn that the Hull branch of The Dialogue Society has got together with Hull Minster, or Holy Trinity Parish Church as it was better known for centuries, to host a special (free) 2025 Ramadan Iftar Dinner – actually in the Minster. Have a look to see what’s in store. Presumably it will be much like the reported 2024 event with the same predictable ‘VIPs’. Will there be a two-minute silence to reflect on all the Islamic-inspired terrorist atrocities that have happened since the 2024 event? I think we all know the answer to that one.
Now we’re not ones to knock the naivety of others (that’s a lie by the way, we always do), but this event surely raises a few interesting thoughts that we’d better get in before Islamophobia is finally defined by the Deputy PM’s Committee and inevitably made illegal, resulting in (as all we despicable ‘far-right’ types suspect) an Islamic only ‘Blasphemy Law’.
It’s all very hunky-dory to hold an Islamic celebratory meal in a medieval Church of England church, but have the organisers not thought of widening this initiative out by having an Easter Day Hot Cross Bun Tasting at the Mosque? Why not celebrate Ascension Day with a full English Breakfast at the Orthodox Synagogue? Just a thought, no credit is sought for our suggestions which surely highlight some confused thinking by The Dialogue Society, and indeed Hull Minster, about how far acceptance of other Faiths’ norms stretches. Perhaps a competition could be held for local schools to draw lovely pictures bolstering inter-faith cohesion by showing Moses, Jesus and Mohammed all sitting down to a nice friendly vegan meal together? OK, maybe that one’s not such a good idea after all, given the predictably violent outcomes of Muslim cartoonophobia.
The good old CofE maintains a substantial list of other Christian Denominations it is in communion with, yet still draws the line at hob-nobbing in Church with the likes of Jehovah’s Witnesses or Mormons. But it seems Muslims are now kosher, or should we say halal. We wonder why, and indeed what first attracted the CofE to The Dialogue Society?
We have other niggling concerns too. Should any ladies present dare to show off their lust-inducing uncovered hair or other unseemly body parts? Might the lady Bishop of Hull strike a pose by wearing a hijab or burka for the occasion? Will any camp gentlemen be directed straight up to the central tower without even a sandwich? Seems only fair if it’s a real Ramadam-a-ding-dong affair and not just a hollow virtue-signalling pastiche.
Have the organisers really thought things through though? A few further random thoughts have occured to us:
Will ‘Queers for Palestine’ be made especially welcome? They do after all like to put themselves about a bit.
Should any ‘fabulous’ drag queens attend, does he/she/they need to cover their wigs?
Choice of appropriate cutlery for the feast? Let’s not even go there!
Risk of cross contamination of food; stray pork products are as likely to get into things as good old spittle – who is supervising the catering to ensure nothing is defiled and that it’s all strictly kosher or halal? (Indeed, does it even need to be kosher or halal at all on Christian premises?).
Sustainability is vital; any leftovers should naturally be made up into doggy bags (or perhaps renamed as goaty bags for the benefit of doggy-haters?) and donated to local food banks.
Will the boys from the Royal Station Hotel – our local detention centre for asylum seekers aka illegal immigrants to us – be invited? Hint: best check if our local delicacy Pattie & Chips is on the menu at the hotel to avoid embarrassing no shows on the big night. (N.B. Pattie is not a schoolgirl of easy virtue).
Won’t it offend some diners to see so much blatant Christian religious iconography amongst the Minster’s statues, stained glass windows and crosses? Perhaps any broad-minded Imams attending will be bringing tape measures and notebooks with an eye to future remodelling?
Hull Minster hosts many a beer festival (book your place at the next one here) and clearly isn’t averse to boozing on its Holy premises, so will there be a choice of wine with the meal for non-Muslims (as if the building isn’t already tainted enough as an occasional, open to all Faiths and none but naturally by ticket only, drinking den-cum-art installation venue?)
And finally, why does no one speak the truth anymore? Christianity, Judaism and Islam are three wholly incompatible faiths, their very fundamental differences can’t be conveniently fudged by fake claims of anything remotely significant being doctrinally shared. Agreeing to disagree and friendly dialogue is one thing, but choosing to ignore the implications of key tenets of alien (to the UK) Faiths is frankly beyond our comprehension. Let’s hope some participants do see the light, or if not at least stop pretending ‘peace and unity’ is really feasible, when one faith is committed to the subjugation or annihilation of the other two as commanded in a certain inflammable book.
‘The Hulligans’ wish to remain anonymous.
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Membership of The Dialogue Society sounds like a must for all Reform candidates and should also get brownie points from the Hope Not Hate vetting process.
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