Dear readers of The New Conservative,
Please forgive my self-indulgence, but I write this brief note mainly in my capacity as editor to let you know what may be about to occur.
As many of you will know I am currently fighting the divorce from hell, having had my children taken away from me. This afternoon I shall be in court, likely for the last time.
I have covered this case in more detail previously, first when it kicked off in the summer of last year, and more recently over Christmas when the children were removed from my care.
Today’s hearing will likely decide my family’s future, because of the systematic failures of every authority involved.
To give a very brief summary, temporary custody was awarded in December at the 11th hour, without warning, consultation or explanation. Today’s court date was postponed for three weeks (again at the last minute),
which has given my ex-wife the opportunity to do the following:
- Further alienate my children, to the point where they refuse to show any emotion (unless they are alone with me)
- Block access to them (phone calls, video calls, meetings etc)
- Refuse to allow them to stay over with me
- Refuse to give me their address
- Destroy my photographs with them
As a result, I have seen my children for the grand total of 15 hours in 2025 – that’s 1% of the time! This cannot and will not be allowed to continue.
Two things are going to happen this afternoon:
A) The judge if going to do her job. I am not expecting her to award me custody, but at the very least she must insist that these practises are stopped immediately, with failure to do so resulting in the loss of custody and serious punishment.
B) Like the police, and the social services, and the social services child abuse team, and the police internal affairs, she will neglect her duty.
In the event of ‘B’, I will object in the strongest terms. If they attempt to silence me then WWIII is likely to commence. Or, they will hear me – in which case, this is the speech I will give:
Your Honour, I may be guilty of many things, but the one thing I cannot be accused of is not loving nor prioritising my children.
For years I remained in an unhappy marriage at considerable cost to my health, in order to protect them from the horrors of divorce.
When my wife took the choice out of my hands and insisted on a breakup, she was offered 50% of the family assets if I could see the children just one day per week. She refused. She was then offered 100% of everything, full access to the children and no requirement to pay if the children could live with me. Again, she refused.
This court is painfully aware of my wife’s behaviour: repeated (possibly staged) suicide attempts to control me, alienation of my children, and the systematic blocking of access to them.
Since July 2024, I have appealed to every authority charged with child protection: the police, the social services and now the judiciary. All of you have been at best negligent, and at worst corrupt.
Despite the irrefutable proof of my ex-wife’s lies, child abuse, and the breaking of every rule you promised to enforce, like her, you refuse to uphold the law.
Thanks to this court, my children have been placed in the custody of a dangerous, vindictive narcissist. Thanks to this court, I have seen my children for a grand total of 15 hours in 2025 – that’s just 1% of the time. Thanks to this court, my children are still being abused. Thanks to this court, my children are still in danger.
I would remind the court of a few things:
- The worst outcomes for children are in single parent families with mothers, not fathers
- Parental alienation is a jailable offence in many countries
- Male suicide rates are four times higher than female at the best of times; for men separated from their children, this increases to ten times
Without my children, there is no reason for me to live. Must I become another statistic to have my voice heard?
I came to this court today with the hope that you would give me justice; your refusal is the end of the road for me. While the lives of my children are treated with such utter contempt, I shall not comply with you, communicate with you, or obey your rules in any way. If you jail me, I will go on hunger strike. And if anything bad happens to my children as a consequence, I will hold the people in this room responsible.
My children are not the property of the State, and I will do anything necessary to protect them.
Neither knowing (nor caring) anything about the law, I would assume this could more than easily be construed as contempt of court. So be it.
Hopefully I am being melodramatic, and none of this will occur.
If however there is radio silence from TNC after today, then you know what has happened.
I wish every one of you the very best, and hope to reassume the editor’s seat very soon.
Frank Haviland
Frank Haviland is the author of Banalysis: The Lie Destroying the West, and writes a Substack here.
If you enjoy The New Conservative and would like to support our work, please consider buying us a coffee – it would really help to keep us going. Thank you!
My heart goes out to you and your children. I wish you strength and peace.
Words fail me Frank; your courage in the face of evil is admirable. I am hoping for a miracle ….
This is terrible to read. If she is suicidal then surely that should preclude her from child care?
Why are the Courts siding with her – is it because she initiated the divorce?
All the best Frank. Apart from yourself, this situation must be dreadful for your children and the judgment should have restoring stability to their lives as priority. Hang on in there, show your love for your children and in the fullness of time they will understand better and appreciate what you did to stay close to them. Incidentally have you no relatives that could act as intermediaries – a neutral place where children could stay and you visit?
Dear Frank,
What a heartbreaking post today. I hope the Court sees sense. My daughter-in-law did the same thing to my eldest son, and if it’s any comfort for you, eventually it was sorted out, and he now has the children every weekend.
Let us dearly hope there is some sense in the courts today, that a resolution can be found and you can find some relief from this unfair situation and torment.
A very, very painful read and I struggle to know what to say but for your sake and the sake of your children I do hope there is a favourable outcome.
God bless.
Best of luck Frank.
In answer to Matt’s question, it’s because the courts almost always take the woman’s side, whatever the circumstances.
It will pass. One of my colleagues went through this for 3.5 years – it was hell. Failed by those who should have seen truth at every possible juncture – but it did pass. It did end and he got access to his children – they’re worth fighting for.
I suggest you remove the bit in your statement about becoming a statistic – these lesbian types in this work see it as a threat.
Be strong (even if you don’t feel it) and be fearless. This is a campaign for your children and although you lose battles along the way, it’s a war that’s worth the fight.
Chin up and be proud you’re seeing it through – you’re setting a good example for your kids.
Good luck!
Pingback: News Round-Up – The Daily Sceptic
It seems incredible to me that a Court would choose to leave children with a mother who has repeatedly attempted suicide, even if they were “performative” attempts. My late mother killed herself (age 69) and after the second unsuccessful attempt my father was told a third would result in her being Sectioned (the third attempt was successful).
I hope the Courts see sense and you are successful in gaining fair and regular access to your children. Unless a parent is abusive towards them, children deserve to know and have a relationship with both their parents. Good luck Frank.
Hi. I don’t know all the details on both sides, but on reading what you have said I wish you the best of luck. I have been going through the same thing for many years. The professionals still do not see men as victims, as they do women. They are so scared of the army of support women get (rightly so in most cases). What they are poor at, is doing nothing about the ‘many’ that lie, manipulate and cheat the system to destroy the man. It is just too easy to do. Even when the proof is shown to be the opposite, they are still reluctant to deem a woman as a perpetrator. I was a safeguarder myself so when you work in these professions you are under more scrutiny. This just adds to the administrative abuse at the hands of a female narcissistic perpetrator. With children in the middle, it is just extra ammunition for them. The parental alienation tears them apart and it is horrific. Social services gun for the man/father believing all fantasy’s to be true. When it’s proven not to be true, they walk away leaving the child with the very person that has proven to lie to every professional agency going. It is crazy, because if the father did that, then they would not walk away and leave him be. Mental Abuse & child manipulation/alienation is simply that, abuse. However it is still a case of, if there is no physical mark, then they are not interested. They may signpost to other agencies, who do the same back, as its all too difficult to deal with.
It is criminal that these professionals, walk away. Minimise so much if the victim is a man. Allow children to suffer and become emotionally broken because a mother cleverly makes them pick a side. These children will be broken adults. These children suffer and will continue to suffer. Taking these experiences into their adulthood, their relationships. Yes the system is broken, but the significant reason is simply that ‘professionals’ do not do their job to the same standard if the victim is shown to be the man. The support is next to nothing. Domestic violence etc will never be designed out of families lives, untill all receive the same help and support. All means, men, women and children. To make it harder for the lies to be disguised and hidden away. There is a reason why the suicide rate is alot higher for men. Professionals sadly refuse to join the dots. Our broken children in the middle of all this just become future victims/offenders. It is heartbreaking. Many professionals in this cycle should be ashamed.
This is relatively normal.
My son lost significant access to his children with the most cretinous access order I have ever seen. Children are handed over, in their nightclothes at 1900 on the days he has them. This despite the fact that the break up was entirely her fault and the divorce judge awarded my son costs for the divorce as it was her fault.
Back to the kids. The angle I’m trying to push is that there is overwhelming evidence that 50-50 shared access is best for the children – their emotional, mental, education, social even physical wellbeing. Therefore, a court order which gives one parent (normally the mother) more than 50% is not acting in the best interests of the child(ren). This is contrary to the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child to which the UK is a signatory. UNCRC places the welfare of the child as paramount. Therefore, an access order which gives one parent substantially more access than the other, unless there is a compelling reason to not do this, is in breach of the Convention. The court which makes the access order is in breach of the law.
Pingback: ‘Going Straight’: A Brief Update From the Editor - The New Conservative