The older I get the less I see the point in changing the clocks twice a year. Peter Hitchens has been ahead of the curve on this one for years saying that the effect, especially of the clock going forward and losing that precious hour of sleep in Spring, is akin to jetlag and is responsible for a rise in deaths.
According to the BMJ there is a noticeable but ‘non-significant’ rise in deaths at the time of the ‘Spring forward’ of the clocks. Presumably they mean not statistically significant, as I would have thought that dying was a fairly significant event for friends, family and the deceased. At this time of the year when the clocks ‘Fall back’, data from the United States suggest an increase in road accidents.
Apparently, this insanity was introduced during the First World War to maximise daylight, which is nonsense. The amount of daylight would be exactly the same whether we fiddled with the clocks or not. Folk refer to having an extra hour in bed in October, then stay up later and gain no net benefit.
Even The Guardian gets it right on the clocks changing saying: ‘The move was made during the First World War to help conserve fuel and has endured ever since, despite the fact that there is no real benefit to lighter mornings and longer evenings.’ It’s all a bloody waste of time which continues to be imposed on us by successive governments who are never happier than when they are telling us to do something.
If like me, you are a hoarder of watches, you can spend the next six months changing your watches as you rotate them and by the end of the six months, it’s time to change them all back again. Some of the watches I own require a manual and a degree in electronics to alter the time.
And while we’re at it, there is always some comedian reminding you that ‘this time yesterday it was only X o’clock…or was it Y o’clock?’. And if you work across time zones, as I do – it’s a bloody nightmare.
Having fun? We’ll soon stop that
Don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t go out in the sun – we’ve covered most of the excesses of the fun police in these pages. But now they have plumbed new depths. A recent target was birthday cake, as my grandson Jack Watson explained in the Daily Sceptic.
The government is exhorting schools and parents to stop bringing birthday cakes to school for health reasons. Too much sugar, too much fun. So, instead of bringing in a carrot cake, take a carrot. And have in mind those of other cultural persuasions and dietary faddiness, for whom a big slab of birthday cake may not be appropriate.
Consider bringing in treats that are ‘vegetarian (an oxymoron if ever), halal (whoop!) and gluten-free products, while discouraging cakes and party bags’. Instead of a simple cake in a bag it looks as if, in the name of inclusivity, you’d have to turn up with a wheelbarrow.
The latest target is bacon which scientists, who have forgotten their place in the hierarchy of advice givers, are demanding is banned – claiming it is linked to tens of thousands of deaths from cancer. Life without bacon would be unbearable. It is not only a satisfying snack – especially wedged between two thick slices of bread and a slab of butter (tomato or brown sauce as required) – it is a cultural symbol.
It sets us Brits aside from all the other races on earth. I have not encountered bacon sandwiches in Europe, USA or Australia. And most of these places have no idea what bacon is, mostly producing only what we call ‘streaky’ bacon, not the back bacon that defines the true bacon sandwich.
And of course, some of our migrant communities are taking exception to our consumption of pork-based products which, is probably the best reason I can think of to increase our consumption. You won’t find any reference to that last point on Google (only on social media), but you will find links to the man who was arrested for proclaiming his love of bacon. Just in case Mr Humberside Plod is reading this – no, I don’t advocate putting rashers of bacon on mosque door handles. I don’t want to impose bacon on anyone; I just want to be left in peace to enjoy it.
Hotting up in Hull
The new heating system being installed in Hull accompanied by massive traffic disruption has been covered here before. But it has raised its ugly head again and, thanks to my fellow columnist and Hull inmate, I know about this as he keeps an eye on the Hull Daily Mail. I never read said Mail ever since they outed me as a Covid-19 and lockdown sceptic, caused a massive Twitter pile on and nearly lost me my job.
Local left-wing loonie ‘Dame’ Diana Johnson is urging our unitary authority Reform mayor, ex-boxer Luke Campbell, to be a bit more enthusiastic about the new underground ‘zero carbon’ heating system or we’ll lose gazillions in inward investment. Luke has sent out mixed messages in the past about net zero saying that if it brings in jobs, he’s for it – in direct opposition to Reform party policy – but now he seems a bit less sure.
Frankly, and don’t tell Luke (he used to box) I wonder how much of any of this he understands. If he did, he would call out the whole net-zero/zero-carbon agenda, locally and nationally, for what it is. A massive and expensive con trick. Unless they are building a nuclear reactor in the middle of the town, then zero carbon generation of energy is thermodynamically impossible.
Nevertheless, some mugs have been persuaded to part with money to support the £125 million project (watch that figure increase). Hull City Council have received a loan of £27 million from the National Wealth Fund (no, me neither). That’s a loan, not a gift so we’ll be paying that back out of council taxes for the next few decades.
Overantout!
Roger Watson is a retired academic, editor and writer. He writes regularly for a range of conservative journals including The Salisbury Review and The European Conservative. He has travelled and worked extensively in the Far East and the Middle East. He lives in Kingston upon Hull, UK.
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Yes, clock changing has always been insanity (two of mine involve using a ladder so I can see the death potential). I always understood it allegedly was for the benefit of Scottish Farmers but never believed this.
You forgot that cooking with gas and using a woodburner stove are both now also up there with cyanide capsules as definitely death inducing.
The National Wealth Fund needs investigating if it’s giving loans to schemes that are designed ONLY to benefit the local authority itself, as this white elephant in Hull is.
Nathaniel,
Quoting: “You forgot that cooking with gas and using a woodburner stove are both now also up there with cyanide capsules as definitely death inducing.”
Hilarious!
I have long hated the clock-changing ritual and it took me years to realise that the clocks change on the last weekend in October (back) and March (forward) so I was nearly always taken by surprise and arrived an hour late or early at my destination. Then it took me more years to discover that I could buy a clock which automatically changed the time during the night – except one year it didn’t (my fault) and it’s made me extra careful since. It really is a nuisance, though, the whole carry-on. I often think that it’s as if there is someone behind a desk somewhere with the sole task of thinking up ways to make my life more difficult.
My favourite in the “no fun” part of the article is the birthday cake. Beyond ridiculous to discourage or ban these in schools for “health” reasons. “Instead of bringing a carrot cake, take a carrot” – just about sums up the nonsense going on in the UK these days. Poor schoolchildren. And the wheelbarrow “in the name of inclusivity” – LOL!
Another enjoyable piece from Roger Watson.
Spring forward, Fall backward.
St. George’s Day, 2,3,4.
Useful tips!