Wimbledon is upon us and, with Mrs Watson hogging the television and the means to control it, it is on all the time. Is there a stupider game than tennis? Probably not. But I still like to watch it. But only Wimbledon; no other competition interests me. Ace serves, drop shots, forehand smashes, volleys, passing shots, backhands and Emma Raducanu. But it’s not what happens on the court that is stupid, it’s all that goes on around it.
For starters, what are the military doing there? They always have been, but what purpose do they serve other than decoration? Tradition, some will say, which is a reason but not an explanation. We don’t have soldiers in uniform at St Andrew’s for The Open or at the FA Cup Final. And we can’t spare them these days with so many wars coming up, and so few military left to fight them.
The Royal Box of Righteousness
Then there is the daily parade of privilege in the Royal Box. Film stars, has-been sporty types, former Wimbledon champs, assorted do-gooders and celebs. And Gary Lineker. This is so obviously a gathering of conformists, the Covid orthodox, the immigrant friendly and those who never put a foot wrong in the eyes of the establishment or the BBC.
I spotted Ian Botham, now Lord Botham, which suggests a certain amount of conformity on his behalf. I thought that surely, if anyone, he would have said the wrong thing about lockdown or illegal migrants. All I could find was that he enjoyed lockdown; both of them. Not a word on illegal migrants. He sailed close to the wind once describing the English Cricket Board’s report on racism in cricket as ‘rubbish’. But then, it probably was.
Speaking of Covid, Wimbledon was one place which took ‘the pandemic’ seriously. The tournament was cancelled in 2020 but played in 2021 when, from its standing ovation for AstraZeneca Covid-19 death jab – soon after withdrawn from use – inventor Professor Dame Sarah Gilbert to its socially distanced interviews and self-service towels for the players, it was determined to show the rest of us how things ought to be done during a pandemic.
New balls, same nonsense
Fair enough. But why are they still doing it? The towels are still self-service at either end of the court in a box colour coded for each player, and those stupid outdoor on-court end-of-match interviews, which started in 2021, persist with the interviewer still standing a couple of metres from the victorious player. Perhaps the memo that Covid-19 is over never reached the management at Wimbledon, or they simply cannot let go.
It must irk the pro-vaccine brigade that arch anti-vaxxer Novak Djokovic is still there, one of the oldest players still whipping the arse of his younger opponents, fit as a butcher’s dog with his beautiful un-vaxxed wife and children looking on. I really hope he wins.
And the British players. Dear, oh deary me. There was once a rumour that they were all on drugs…sleeping tablets. As I write, the final surviving Brit Cam Norrie is being given a tennis lesson by potential championship winner Carlos Alcaraz. It’s such a shame for Cam that this exhibition is taking place on Centre Court. When the match is over, we’ll undoubtedly be treated to an endless stream of tennis inanities and restatements of the blindingly obvious from Tim (nice but dim) Henman who, the BBC likes to remind us, was a ‘three-times semi-finalist’.
Tim was, at one point early in her career, ‘mentoring’ the lovely Emma Raducanu. It was “Emma this” and “Emma that” for a while. Strangely, I don’t recall Emma mentioning Tim at all. I note at this Wimbledon that he no longer refers to “Emma”, it’s “Raducanu” now. Methinks Mrs Henman may have had a word.
They must be Russians
Finally, on the Wimbledon front, what is this nonsense of not recognizing Russians or Belarusians? All other nationalities get the two or three letter abbreviation for their country after their name, but the Russians and Belarusians don’t. We all know that the Russians are up to no good in Ukraine, but what has that got to do with tennis players and what could it possibly achieve? In any case, as soon as you see a player at Wimbledon with no country indicated, you know they are Russian. I guess it makes some petty-minded, virtue-signalling committee members think they are striking a blow against tyranny. Overantout!
Roger Watson is a retired academic, editor and writer. He is a columnist with Unity News Network and writes regularly for a range of conservative journals including The Salisbury Review and The European Conservative. He has travelled and worked extensively in the Far East and the Middle East. He lives in Kingston upon Hull, UK.
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