It’s still piping hot here in the man cave. The ‘glass is rising’ as they used to say. I do have air conditioning but, as we also had our compulsory smart meter fixed a while back, I’m afraid that the surge in energy required to power it might be noticed by Mr Milliband who’d be round here pronto to lecture me about net zero. Something to be avoided at all costs.
We have just has another amber heat warning and those attending the annual festival of professional protesters, otherwise known as Glastonbury, have been especially warned to take care. We don’t need amber heat warnings in Hull as all you need to do is count the number of young men walking about with their shirts off and a can of Tennant’s Super Lager in hand, and you know it’s ‘mafting’ (Hull expression for warmer than usual).
Glastonbury has morphed into a massive death to Jews, up Hamas, Hezbollah and the Ayatollah support group. These folk have absolutely no sense of irony. If they were holding their festival next to the Gaza border or in Tehran, they’d probably all be slaughtered.
The ’omni-cause’, the means whereby you can know all that a person believes by knowing one of their beliefs, is beautifully illustrated at Glastonbury. As well as support for Islamic state-sponsored terror, the virtue signals regarding climate change, capitalism and open borders are much on display.
Again, the irony is lost on them as the total travel undertaken by these festival goers must be counted in millions of miles; they pay a huge fee for the privilege of pooping in a field, and the security fence protects them from the civilised world more effectively than the Berlin Wall. And how do they think this high volume event with its light shows and stars being helicoptered in is powered?
Lake District Mosque
Not content with infiltrating our education system and their overt and disproportionate influence on our politics, our Muslim minority have their eyes on our beauty spots. Proposals to build a mosque on the edge of the Lake District have been met with protests by locals. Presumably it won’t be too long before these protestors are identified, visited by Lakeland Plod and hauled before the beak for inciting racial hatred. Unknown to them, they have probably all been recorded under the sinister non-crime hate incidents law.
To date, the Grand Mufti of Highgrove, has been silent on the issue. No ‘carbuncle on the face of a much-loved and elegant friend’ speech has been made, which was his reaction to Richard Rogers’ proposed extension to London’s National Gallery in 1984. I expect King Charles would be only too happy to cut the tape on this one and to lead the first call to prayer.
Bearded asylum seeker
We’ve had some pretty lame excuses involving chicken nuggets and the like for refusing to deport illegal asylum seekers. But one chap recently had the barefaced cheek to claim that he did not want to be barefaced. He claimed that if he was returned to Tajikistan he would be forced to shave his beard off. It’s true that, in Tajikistan, beards are frowned upon by the government, actively discouraged and sometimes actively suppressed
The reason is that the government wants to limit the spread of radical Islam. Judge Parminder Saini, a former barrister specialising in Human Rights, with an emphasis on Immigration and asylum decided, decided the chap should remain. So, that’s OK then; he’s probably a radical Islamist, but we’ll just keep him, shall we? What could possibly go wrong?
Milkmen
Forget the early morning clanking of bottles or Benny Hill’s Ernie (the fastest milkman in the west), this is about men who produce milk. No, not farmers, these are men with a severe mental illness called ‘I think I’m a woman’ who, poor deluded souls, think that they can breastfeed a baby.
In a normal, civilised, society the response to this kind of lunacy would be to take them aside and give them a good talking to. Some facts to consider – “you can’t have a baby; you haven’t got boobs – not real ones – and you are making me want to vomit even thinking about this.” In short “You’re deluded.”
You’d think. But no. The response is to send midwives on study days to learn how to support these imbeciles in their delusion and to help them ‘breastfeed’. The study days are organised by the Queer Birth Club – their words, not mine – and the midwives are taught to “advocate for male breastfeeding” and that “birthing people ain’t all women”. I think, if you dig deep enough into a biology book, you’ll find that they are.
Any dissension such as thinking that whatever seeps from the hairy nipples of a crazy bloke who self-identifies as a woman is, perhaps, not the real McCoy, is told that this ‘transmisogyny’. It also appears that the term ‘chestfeeding’ is not being used in this context. Perhaps that is only applied to women – real women. I have advocated in these pages several times for the complete demolition of the NHS. Is further proof needed?
Emergency signals
At some unspecified date, and at the behest of the British Government, all mobile phones in the UK are going to blast out an emergency alarm as a way of preparing us for the likelihood of war. If war breaks out, I think we’ll notice. Exploding houses and bodies lying in the street are two signs; I am sure there must be others.
Remember 2023 when they tried to do this last time in the wake of Covid? I was never sure what the purpose was but as they had a captive audience of people, many still defecating themselves and sitting at home with a mask on, they thought they’d up the fear levels another notch.
Without exception, everyone I know disabled the emergency alert on their phones and I know not a single person – even amongst the most Covid orthodox – who heard as much as a chirp from their phone that time. GB News have helpfully shared instructions on how to disable this again. That’s what I’ll be doing.
If we want to prepare for war, how about we stop wasting money teaching men to breastfeed and spend more on the armed forces? Overantout!
Roger Watson is a retired academic, editor and writer. He is a columnist with Unity News Network and writes regularly for a range of conservative journals including The Salisbury Review and The European Conservative. He has travelled and worked extensively in the Far East and the Middle East. He lives in Kingston upon Hull, UK.
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Quite (to everyting above). It is common sense which unfortunately shows no sign of catching on. It is even is decline. We are living in a Mad Hatter’s Tea Party but without the fun (or the tea).
The streets of Hull are witness not only to shirtless young men, but equal ops rule here and some less lithe elders are too taking part. Not a pretty sight (even if visible through the thick acrid smoke that covered the city last week so efficiently that even MSM noticed and Humberside Plod ordered all shops on a popular retail park to close). The difference is the young hedonists tuck their disguarded footie top into their shorts waistband whilst the elders demurely carry theirs in their hand – presumably because they can’t see if it’s still there over their ample belly. It’s never dull in Hull (except when covered in smoke).
Death to all muslims who do not want to accept the British way of life send them back to the crap they came from.
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‘The response is to send midwives on study days to learn how to support these imbeciles in their delusion and to help them ‘breastfeed’.’ I despair.