Welcome to the latest edition of The Frank Report where, contrary to form, the laughs are a bit thin on the ground. In fact, you find us in mourning. Bebe King, six, Elsie Dot Stancombe, seven, and Alice Dasilva Aguiar, nine, were brutally slain in Southport earlier this week; the
This week saw the opening of Parliament, and the swearing in of MPs old and new. Freshly-appointed Minister for Jihad, Naz Shah, pledged her allegiance to King Charles III (peas be upon him) via the Koran. Clive Lewis, Minster for Arseholes, whined that the nod to the Monarchy really went
I am most grateful to all the fans of The Frank Report, who have written in to demand its reinstatement. Please understand that while I do my best, I am beset from all sides by unruly children, distempered dogs, disobliging fishwives – and that’s just the newly-assembled Starmer Cabinet! That
Dear readers, it’s been a while, but with the general election just 10 days away we thought it was time The Frank Report made a Farage-esque comeback. And thank Christ for Nigel, without whose participation this election campaign would have remained the dullest since John Prescott tried convincing would-be voters
If the Gucci-heeled Downing Street dwarf Rishi Sunak could jump high enough he’d undoubtedly be met by two slaps in the face later this week, as by-elections are about to be held in the comparatively safe Conservative seats of Wellingborough, Northamptonshire, and Kingswood, South Gloucestershire. Replacements have been called for
Welcome to the latest instalment of The Frank Report, where you find me in unusually fine fettle. While practically every other middle-aged ne’er-do-well in the vicinity has now had their regulation state-sponsored heart attack, my myocarditis appears as yet in its infancy. Forced at gunpoint to have the initial two
Welcome back to The Frank Report and to 2024, I trust the New Year is living up to your expectations thus far? The big story this week (at least for my money), was the shock revelation that Jeremy Corbyn is poised to set up a ‘real Labour Party’ to challenge Keir
All good things come to those who wait, and thank Christ (literally), it’s the big day tomorrow! No, not the Tower Hamlets Suicide Bombers’ Reunion (generously put together by the Jihadi Jigsaw Association), but Christmas itself. In keeping with tradition, The Frank Report would like to bestow peace on earth
When dealing with scumbags, ’Hit ‘em where it hurts’ is usually the best policy (whether one favours an attack to the wallet or the more traditional swift knee to the groin), and it certainly proved the right choice this week. As it turns out, University of Pennsylvania President Liz Magill
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