Andy Pandy: Time To Go Back in the Basket

(Photo: https://www.flickr.com/photos/snapperjack/, CC BY-SA 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons)

I can barely put my finger on it, but there’s something I rather like about Anjem Choudary. Not the jihad, I can take that or leave it, to be honest. But I somehow find the smug smirk which flickers behind his lips reassuring. Britain may be limp-wristed with radical Islam, but at least it’s consistent; and so is Anjem. Unlike so many of his co-conspirators, I admire Choudary’s no-nonsense eschewal of tacqiya in favour of straight-talking. He wants Brits living under sharia law, claims a black flag will fly over Downing Street, and famously yearned for the day Her Majesty The Queen wore Islamic dress. Well, two out of three ain’t bad.

I particularly enjoyed his after-dinner routines prior to his 2016 arrest, when he was a regular doyen of the BBC media sofas; terrifying the luvvies as they attempted to interview him. What were they supposed to do? Feign Guardianista concern at the ‘points’ he raised, or fail to conceal the obvious concern he inspired. They never knew which way to look and Choudary was in his element, hamming it up as the pantomime villain. It’s an act he’s been rehearsing for decades.

And yet, the ‘best-known Islamic extremist in Britain’ wasn’t always a firebrand. In the late 1980s, his previous incarnation was as a fun-loving student at Southampton University. Back then he was known simply as Andy, a smoking, boozed-up ladies man. Personally, I like to think of him as a no-strings-attached Andy Pandy—you don’t know whether he’s going to blow your mind, or, well, blow you up! But if anyone thinks Andy is going quietly back into the basket, they’d be mistaken. Choudary is dangerous, a lesson that we and, more importantly, the authorities have forgotten to our detriment.

As a radical preacher, Choudary is known to have inspired at least 100 British jihadis. He urged support for ISIS, had direct links to Michael Adebolajo (one of Lee Rigby’s murderers), and openly praised those responsible for the 9/11 and 7/7 terror attacks. He co-founded the terrorist network Al-Muhajiroun, which underwent a rebrand whenever the intelligence services cottoned on, and was a key figure in jihadist military training in Britain. Andy always preferred pulling the strings to having his pulled, and the role of puppet master is one he has performed well. Research by the Henry Jackson Society revealed back in 2016, that Choudary’s associates were responsible for more terror plots than any other organisation.

Criminal neglect

The issue I wish to draw attention to however is not so much Choudary; he is a scumbag, plain and simple, although a scumbag admittedly in the open. What excuses can we offer for the criminal negligence of the British state, which continues to enable him? Consider his five and a half year imprisonment for urging support for the Islamic State. Choudary was released in 2018, having served just half his sentence. While I understand the instruction that the remainder was to be completed “under supervision,” there is absolutely nothing about this case which warrants any decision other than him serving a full term.

To say that his release was premature would be an understatement. Choudary was described as a “hardened dangerous terrorist, with huge influence on Islamist extremism in this country” by former Met Police terror chief Richard Walton. He refused to undertake deradicalisation programs while inside, and even had to be moved to a jihadi jail, as he kept trying to radicalise the other inmates. Even then prisons minister, Rory Stewart, admitted Choudary “poses a genuine threat to public safety,” and has a “deeply pernicious destabilising influence,” concluding that MI5 and the police will need to “watch him like a hawk.”

Nonetheless, at the eye-watering cost of £2 million per annum, the British government thought they had it covered (reported in The Guardian at the time of his release):

British officials believe they have drafted conditions that will stop Choudary from repeating his method of drumming up support for extremism, which enabled him to escape prosecution for years even as his propaganda motivated at least 100 people to pursue terrorism.

Unsurprisingly, things have gone about as well as you’d expect. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks—but who cares, when the dog is perfectly happy with the old ones? As soon as his public speaking ban was lifted in July 2021 (again, why?) Choudary was reported to be orchestrating extremism campaigns online. He also instructed jihadis to target British troops earlier this year, after Prince Harry’s boasts about fighting the Taliban.

Treason, anyone?

Choudary was finally arrested last week and charged this Monday with directing an offshoot of the banned group Al-Muhajiroun, masquerading under the moniker of the Islamic Thinkers Society. According to the prosecution, Choudary has addressed weekly online groups for over a year, lecturing members on the establishment of an Islamic State in Britain, and methods of radicalising others—treason surely, in any language?

Forgetting for a moment that our government is so incompetent it cannot police the English Channel, even when ISIS and Al-Qaeda confirm they are plotting terror attacks in the UK, what exactly is one to do with Choudary? He cannot, of course, be deported since he was born in Britain. Although curiously, he did previously request to renounce his citizenship and be given safe passage to the Islamic State; a request predictably denied. But not to worry, I have an alternative solution.

Despite the rarity of its usage, treason is still on the statute books in Britain. Naturally, it has cleaned up its act a little from the blood and guts of medieval times—and accordingly no longer carries the death penalty since the 1998 Crime and Disorder Act—but still, why not reward those inclined to plot against the nation with life imprisonment? Wouldn’t that send out a signal of strength? Wouldn’t that defend the realm? And wouldn’t that, dare one use the word, be vaguely ‘conservative’? If the treason law still stands, that must make it fit for an eventuality. Can you think of a more deserving candidate for its resurrection? Choudary could even die a martyr’s death, of sorts.

Such a charge is not going to happen any time soon. What might happen however, is that someone starts to ask questions—questions this government owes the people an answer to:

• Why did Choudary’s arrest take over a year, particularly given the dangers he poses?
• What precisely was the justification for his release? Who authorised it? And why was this decision not overruled?
• And what, most importantly, does this say about the British government’s laissez-faire attitude to this most heinous of criminals?

As for Choudary himself, if convicted, anything other than a life sentence will be risible. It’s high time our government got serious on the issue of radical Islam. And it’s also high time the puppet master was placed back in the basket. Time to go home, Andy.

This piece first appeared in The European Conservative, and is reproduced by kind permission.

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