As-salamu alaykum. Thanks to a local friend and fellow TNC columnist who pays much closer attention to current affairs than I do, I get the occasional snippet that, otherwise, I would have missed.
Muslims making a mint
As this is the most holy, glorious and venerable month of Ramadan, we must all do our bit to help our Muslim communities who put themselves through so much misery at this time of year preparing themselves daily for their all-night binge. But I must say that I did not see this one coming: the Royal Mint has minted gold bars with an image of the Kaaba on them. For the infidels amongst us, the Kaaba is the structure that encloses the sacred vagina that is contained therein. Yes, it’s true, Muslims literally venerate a ‘cunt’, or is it pronounced ‘Khant’? Suddenly Sadiq Khan’s iron grip on the capital starts to make sense; but each to their own.
The point behind the Royal Mint’s gold bars is that 2.5% of all the sales of these gold bars – at £175 for a 1g bar or a bargain £689 for a 5g bar – will go to Islamic relief charities. According to the Royal Mint, in Sudan ‘civilians are facing dire conditions as the humanitarian need continues to rise’. Er…methinks you’ll find that if conditions are dire in Sudan that this has been caused by Muslims and that the people suffering most are the Christians in South Sudan at the hands of Muslim fanatics.
I have no idea how many gold Kaaba bars the Royal Mint will sell. I don’t care either as this is less to do with supporting charity than virtue signalling to our Muslim community that we care about them, as Muslims. Why bother? When the caliphate takes over in the UK the Royal Mint will be run by Muslims anyway.
White man gets arrested
Meantime, in other Islamic inspired news, a man was arrested in a mosque in Manchester for carrying an axe into the mosque. His motives, if any, are unknown and he claims not to be a terrorist. Maybe he was from the Royal Mint and had just happened to be carrying an axe. It can happen.
But guess what? We know he’s white. Funny that.
Bloody climate change
In Muslim adjacent news, the better weather, which traditionally gets blamed on global warming, has seen an upsurge in illegal migrants crossing the English Channel from England to France in search of a better life. Or was it the other way round? I can never remember. We are often told that climate change is driving migration. They’re not wrong. It is reported that 550 crossed one day this week, and these are only the ones we know about.
Some non-Muslim news
Priapic Muslim men of military age are invading Europe at the rate of thousands weekly, Iran is slaughtering its own people by the tens of thousands, the Middle East remains a tinder box, and Russians and Ukrainians are still killing each other on an industrial scale in Eastern Europe. But FIFA, as the World Cup approaches, have been obsessing not with what Scotsmen wear under their kilts, but with what they wear in front of their kilts
FIFA initially banned Scots fans, many of whom turn up in kilts, from wearing a sporran. A sporran, for those unfamiliar with Scottish traditional dress, is the pouch worn on a chain round the waist and which hangs down in front of the kilt. Yours truly is the proud owner of a big hairy one (Editor: last warning).
Apparently, the sporran did not conform to the kind of handbag approved for taking into the World Cup venues. On further consideration, FIFA have relented and decided to permit the wearing of the sporran. Imagine if FIFA had taken a pop at the national dress of another country, let’s say one where people are of a darkish hue and are not Christians.
USS Sceptic Tank
In other news, which may ultimately affect Muslims, the USS Gerald R Ford, the largest aircraft carrier in the world, has got a blockage. This $13 million ship is armed to the gunwales with the latest weaponry and is ready to bring down hellfire on the Iranian regime if it continues killing its own people. But the bogs are blocked.
In efforts to clean up the ocean, such ships are no longer permitted to flush the loos directly into the sea. The USS Gerald R Ford is equipped with a vacuum system that removes deposits from the site of deposit for storage and subsequent removal when docked. But the reduced crew of approximately 2,500 to 4,600 – note ‘reduced’ and the range of 2,100 – are reporting that the loos are not working. A third world problem on a first-world piece of kit.
Local news
Here in Hull and East Yorkshire things are normal, which means we continue to be run like an asylum managed by lunatics. Net zero is not going too well, at least for a few thousand employees at nearby power station Drax, where jobs are to be cut. It clearly does not take as many people to burn coal as it does to burn imported ‘net zero’ wood, which is what is now burned at Drax.
Meantime, we are investing in a ‘hydrogen network’ in the area, thereby creating thousands of jobs. Will it though? I am not sure if hydrogen power has yet been used to boil a single egg. The hydrogen storage plant is remarkably near the coast, one of the least stable coastlines in England. I don’t know what the Humber Energy Board know about hydrogen. They may have much to learn from the designers of the R101.
In other news, the area is going to get a slice of the government’s investment into freeports and £350,000 will be spent at the Goole Tax Site. The money will initially be used for ‘grid scoping and a biodiversity study to de-risk infrastructure and unlock development’. Good to see it’s not being wasted…on employees who can write in plain English.
Finally, I am looking forward to taking two of our grandsons to see Macbeth, which I studied at school, and they did too. But I did open an email from Hull Truck Theatre with trepidation this week which purported to provide me with ‘Pre-Show Information’.
I was not disappointed as the email contained ‘Content Guidance’, advising me that Macbeth contained ‘Mature and intense themes, gore and torture, depictions of violence and murder, death and suicide, strobe lighting and practicing witchcraft.’ Somehow, I think we’ll make it through the evening; alcohol may be involved.
Roger Watson is a retired academic, editor and writer. He writes regularly for a range of conservative journals including The Salisbury Review and The European Conservative. He has travelled and worked extensively in the Far East and the Middle East. He lives in Kingston upon Hull, UK.
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I wonder if the Royal Mint will come clean about how many Mussy Mini- Ingots it sells and ergo how much ‘charity’ will be dispensed?
Of course they won’t.
Can’t write anymore, got a plumbing problem just going to give Hannah Spencer a ring to see if she can fix the leak.
Sorry! She’s coming to do a gas inspection at my place. She’s managed to fit me in between sorting out her £1+ million property portfolio!
Melanie Phillips (journalist in London, a Jew whom I follow re. Israel/Hamas conflict) writes
“Britain has woken up to a victory by the Greens in the Gorton and Denton by-election. The Greens’ Hannah Spencer, a 34 year-old plumber, now becomes the Member of Parliament for the constituency which has been Labour since 1931. Labour was pushed into third place with Reform coming second.” End of extract.
I would change that description somewhat, to replace “plumber” with “plonker” given that the Greens’ ridiculous immigration policy includes giving illegal migrants a free house and paid a wage with no requirement to work. Needless to say, they also get free NHS treatment with immediate effect.
So, it seems it is not just Hull and East Yorkshire where “[government] continues to be run like an asylum managed by lunatics.”
I receive Melanie Phillips’ daily email bulletins: today’s email reported the above by-election and was headlined:
Chickens coming home to roost
The Greens’ by-election victory signifies a cultural and political emergency for Britain.
“Emergency” is the word. The first thing to do in an emergency, “they” say, is to keep calm. The second is to remember the old saying “Problems are sent to make us think, not to make us worry.”
Since I’m fresh out of ideas about the state of the UK, I don’t know what to think any more. So, calmly, if helplessly, I suggest that maybe the only thing left is to wait and see. Wait and see over the next few years, with more Muslim representation in the various national institutions, including local and national government, and the spread of the Sharia courts, already operating in England – it may not be too long before not only the sporran but the entire kilt outfit is banned in Scotland. A word of warning, though, to those who might put that on their “go do” list. It’s called a kilt because that’s what happened to the last person who made fun of (or tried to ban) them!
Hopefully this result will be a wake-up call to all the ditherers out there, and a wake-up call to all the right of centre splinter groups who think that they can set up a new party and everyone will vote for them. Re the kilt. When the caliphate starts the attack we should counter it with a ‘Carry on up the Khyber’ attack!
Ah, Roger, you always brighten up my day with your acerbic wit! Do let us know about ‘Macbeth’. I assume that Lady M will be a black lesbian, Birnam Wood will have been pulped and sent to Drax, and the witches will be trans men/women (delete as appropriate) wearing keffiyehs. Enjoy!