The New Conservative

Old man writing furiously

From the Man Cave XXV

Global warming is really taking its toll up here in the East Riding of Yorkshire. It’s freezing cold again and makes the actual man cave bearable only for the shortest of visits with the Dyson heater at full blast and as high a temperature as it is capable of.

One of these days Mrs Watson will notice that I have been missing from the house – eventually – and I’m sure she’ll find me frozen to death, slumped over my iMac keyboard with a half-finished TNC column on the screen. I read this week that Antarctica had its coldest October in 14 years. Again, this will probably be a result of global warming; most things are.

The Bard, Now Fully Updated for the Modern Curriculum

Thankfully we can begin to talk about William Shakespeare again, now that he is no longer a white male. Now that he is both black and female, we can expect an upsurge of interest. He is also Jewish, apparently, which may upset a few adherents to the religion of peace. But, hey, even the intersectionally obsessed can’t please everyone. Next, we’ll be hearing that old Willie was a climate activist, a vegan and possibly even trans.

Presumably, if his identity has changed from that of a white-privileged patriarch to a female person of colour, we can expect some reworking of his (her?) finest works, starting with the titles. Thus, we may expect to see: The Self-actualisation of The Shrew; Hamlet Princess of Denmark; Queen Lear (or maybe King Queer); Romeo and Julian; and a re-working of The Merchant of Venice, replacing Shylock’s desire for his pound of flesh with female genital mutilation.

X Factor

The list of men across the world wanting to ban under 16s from using social media is growing. First there was our Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer and Anthony Albanese, the Australian Prime Minister. Now they are joined by Stevie Wonder impersonator, President Macron, except that he wants the ban to apply to under 15s.

What do these three have in common? They are all first-class narcissistic dweebs who are easily punctured by criticism. And where do first-class narcissistic dweebs who also happen to be politicians get slagged off? On social media of course. The desire by Sir Keir to shut down X is motivated by precisely the same sentiments.

They say it is to protect young people – young men, of course – from seeing boobs and bottoms online and, while that may be a worthy aim (it’s not the aim), no force in all of nature can stop a curious early teenage boy from seeing boobs and bottoms if said teenage boy is determined. It shows just how out of touch our political classes are with what life is like on the ground in their respective domains.

In any case, what would a ban on using social media do? If teenagers can hack The Pentagon, as they have done more than once, then they can get round a social media ban. No matter what ‘safeguards’ the politicians try to put in place such as getting the permission of an adult (don’t make me laugh), scanning a relevant ID (ditto) or any number of steps to confirm age and identity, the resourceful teenager will obviate.

Alcohol has been banned for under 18s for as long as I have lived. That did not stop me throwing up violently and regularly at the local Saturday night dance in my town under the influence of the demon drink. I was smoking twenty a day before I was 16 too. If social media platforms such as X – and X is the main target of the ire of Starmer – were singing the praises of the Labour government, then they would be candidates for a government grant.

National Police Farce

Home Secretary Shabana Mahmood, having run out of ideas, has started recycling old ones. Proposals for a national police force – FBI style – have been raised many times in the past. Despite many rationalisations and amalgamations leaving us with far fewer police forces than in the past, the national police force idea has never flown.

It has been done in Scotland and the level of satisfaction with policing north of the border has plummeted. Why does she think that this would work in England and Wales? The proposal is not to achieve this by a mega-amalgamation of forces; the existing ones will, largely, be left alone. The proposal is for a new, additional tier of policing at a national level to fight terrorism and fraud.

I cannot find any costings for the proposal but we already pay nearly £20 billion annually for our police forces, most of which seems to be spent creating non-crime hate incidents. Terrorism and fraud should be tackled, but most people experience neither.

On the other hand, thousands of people have their properties burgled (me, for example) without even getting a visit from Mr Plod; cars are stolen and nothing happens; and in my city, it is probably safer to walk down the middle of the road, the pavements being the domain of unregulated e-bike and e-scooters. The police do absolutely nothing about it.

Politicians in motion

As I write, the news is in that former Home Secretary Suella Braverman has defected to Reform. Not sure what to make of that other than the bigger the hitters that enter Reform, the more likely it is to disintegrate. Nigel seems to like to be surrounded by ‘yes’ men and women, and I don’t think some of his latest signings fit that bill.

We can be thankful that Andy Burnham was blocked by Keir Starmer from standing for parliament, making a bid for the leadership, and becoming Prime Minister. Labour is doing enough damage with an incompetent clown at the helm. Imagine the damage they could do with somebody competent.

 

Roger Watson is a retired academic, editor and writer. He writes regularly for a range of conservative journals including The Salisbury Review and The European Conservative. He has travelled and worked extensively in the Far East and the Middle East. He lives in Kingston upon Hull, UK.

 

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3 thoughts on “From the Man Cave XXV”

  1. “…and in my city, it is probably safer to walk down the middle of the road, the pavements being the domain of unregulated e-bike and e-scooters.”

    Mine (Glasgow) too. Walking along Sauchiehall Street (city centre) “pedestrian area” is a nightmare with bikes flying up and down, silently, too, so it is important to keep close watch to avoid being hit by someone delivering pizza or whatever.

    It seems obvious that the Government doesn’t give a toss about protecting young people, or they’d put an end to the corruption wrought via “sex education” in schools. No, the aim is to control ALL internet users. Re-education camps might well follow so we should beware the claim that limiting internet use is only for the sake of protecting youngsters. I don’t believe that for one second.

  2. Nothing this government attempts (or those going back many years now) ever thinks their interference through. Probably because they aren’t affected themselves (being superior) and never bother to genuinely consult with ordinary people, but instead leaves things to the civil service.
    Frankly I like the idea of a National Police Service with x larger regional subforces – providing all current Police, at all levels, are sacked and have to reapply for the new jobs through interviews with panels of randomly selected local ratepayers (no Moslems or foreign borns obviously pn the panels). This should be a UK wide initiative, not just poor old England. Naturally it won’t happen and will waste millions – perhaps Humberside Police might finally recognise that that unpopular fake county was abolished 30 years ago?

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