Once upon a time it was considered rather vulgar (at least in my family) to put up Christmas decorations before 1st December, and even that early was thought a bit ‘common’. How we mocked the people who felt it necessary to display anything more than a tasteful bauble-decorated tree, and their collection of received Christmas Cards.
Now we’re subjected to Christmas-themed goods on sale from late August, and the whole conspicuous consumerism of ensuring a fairytale ‘traditional’ Christmas that can never really live up to the hype. Local media fawn over those who tackily decorate the entirety of their home, both inside and particularly outside, to excess (often allegedly for charity and with surprisingly no mention of the supposed carbon impact of such unnecessary mains electric hedonism, that anything else would most surely, and definitely, attract). When I see this kind of attention-seeking display I normally reach for my trusty old festive sick bucket (come on Home Bargains and B&M, isn’t it high time you stocked these from late July?)
I’ve just noticed that local media are now similarly drooling over home exterior Halloween displays that inexplicably (to me) some now feel to be obligatory. Has anyone else ever wondered why the Bible-bashing and happy-clappy Yankees segue into horror and quasi-Satanism quite so easily without any difficulty, or how they have managed to spread this pseudo-festivity to the UK? It’s certainly now sidelined Catholic-baiting Guy Fawkes Night. Don’t let’s even start dissecting the ‘Trick or Treat’ element that outdoes ‘1d for the Guy’, or wondering why good old Boy Scout ‘Bob a Job Week’ fell by the wayside, due presumably to neighbourhood pedo opportunities that ‘Trick or Treating’ is apparently immune to.
The curmudgeon in me wonders whether we’ve only just reached the thin end of the wedge, and that further visible ‘celebrations’ will become mandatory and even more firmly entrenched in the calendar?
So, what next?
Perhaps everyone really ought to visibly celebrate the festivals of each and every Faith, surely not a problem when Christians, Jews and Muslims plus other Faith groups alike (including Atheists) seem to have few qualms about putting up Christian-lite Christmas decorations, or Satanism-lite Halloween decorations? “More Eid and Diwali Vicar? Yes please!”
Let’s not stop there though, there’s a whole calendar of ‘notable’ annual ‘celebrations’ crying out for even greater exposure, if that’s possible (although somehow I suspect the traditional, and particularly, Christian ones – Christmas excepted ‘cos It’s a big money spinner – won’t these days receive the same traction as others. Easter has already had its origins hidden and Whitsun has disappeared altogether).
How long will it be before it becomes fashionable to celebrate Gay Pride (and the rest of the alphabet add-ons) by putting up a front garden display of semi-naked but leather bondage gear accessorised manikins doing a bit of rimming, fisting or spit-roasting against a rainbow flag bedecked background with, of course, lots of twinkling lights? The kiddies will love it, though might well ask some awkward questions, so be prepared. On second thoughts this probably won’t be necessary if your kids attend a progressive State School.
Black History might similarly be better celebrated with a front garden attention-grabbing manikin slavery-themed tableau, or even pushing the boat out still further a real tableau vivant? Please keep your Justin Trudeau tendencies under control however, or you’ll definitely get a visit from the Old Bill. Resist the easy way out by getting a Mary Seacole looky-likey to just sit in your front garden if weather permits, and if it doesn’t use this as an opportunity to berate CO2 which, of course, disproportionately disadvantages people of colour.
Not being able to immediately think of any other ‘missed’ opportunities (Valentines Day perhaps?), do feel free to make suggestions in the comments.
I can also foresee the rise of a Guardian-reader ‘pedo-hunter’ equivalent mob of concerned citizens roaming their vicinity late at night checking up that the manifestations of multiple celebrations don’t stray into trigger warning territory, such as anything at all on 23rd April, and the very real need for the Local Authority and/or Police to intervene and swiftly remove the offending display (and its owners).
Perhaps as Captain Mainwaring would often say to Corporal Jones: “I think you’re straying into the realms of fantasy here”, but maybe not – does anyone remember ever seeing anything more than a simple face carved turnip in celebration of Halloween in the 50s, 60s, 70s or even 80s? And certainly never, ever as far as I can recall, outdoors.
Martin Rispin has had a career in many different sectors, most lately in the fields of English Tourism and Heritage based Urban Regeneration. He now lives, retired, in Kingston upon Hull.
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Remember, I know where you live and I’ll be sending the grandchildren round tonight! I’m in the US of A now and here Halloween – or ‘Hollow’-een as they seem to pronounce it, is in full swing. You can barely move for pumpkins in the street in Washington DC, which at least make a change from homeless people. Suggestions for other festivals to go mental about might include the whole range of disease awareness weeks: dementia; diabetes; or International Women’s Day (admittedly not yet classified as a disease). I would suggest a spina bifida day but I guess they’re all aborted now.
I’m sure your grandchildren are far too sensible to be bothered with Trick or Treating, especially anywhere in our neck of the woods.
Halloween was unheard of when I was a kid in the fifties. Another import
I seem to remember in the 60s in Yorkshire it being called Mischief Night, but as it was dark by 6pm kids from normal homes weren’t allowed out to do mischief (unless going to some club or other organised activity when it was talked about as a sort of urban myth). Little, if any, mischief actually happened. Parents had better things to do than accompany their children to things after school as they were too tired and most didn’t have cars or think it necessary to ferry kids to and from things. CofE junior schools did mention Halloween, but as it being the eve of All Saints’ Day. There was little celebration of either and I can’t remember anything special whatsoever.
Now ‘Black History Month’ is behind us, perhaps we could return to celebrating our indigenous history, pro rata, for at least the next 99 months.