There is something new in my house. Silence!
For the last three weeks the telly has been on morning, noon and night. The sound of breathless commentary, banal and repetitive exchanges between yesterday’s stars all against a background of cheering and crowd roaring has dominated. Mrs Watson is an Olympics nut and there’s hardly a record, especially in athletics and gymnastics, that she does not know, and who did it and when.
I hear the closing ceremony was less controversial than the opening one, and featured Tom Cruise jumping from the stadium roof. The event was marred only by the fact that he was attached to a wire. Even Thetans, who are ‘immortal spiritual beings’—according to the nutty cult of Scientology—are subject to the laws of gravity.
But the Today programme on Radio 4 is still going on about the Olympics several days after interviewing stars who have returned triumphant to our shores after doing something heroic on the track, in the field or in a boat. The questions are always the same, along the lines of ‘what do you think this tells us about the state of British sport?’ or ‘what does this mean for the future of cycling/equestrianism/rowing etc in Britain?’ The athletes still seem to be out of breath when they answer, as if they had just run their race. And there is one topic which nearly always seems to feature.
Was it just me or were we still being continually gaslighted about Covid during, and now after, the Olympics? There seemed to be endless and frequent references to having ‘tested positive for Covid’, having had Covid, so-and-so still suffering from Covid/long Covid and how the whole ‘pandemic’ disrupted their training. In fact, there was almost nothing else that seemed to have had any ill effect on the Olympics and athletes’ performances other than Covid. I joked with my grandson that someone could be trailing a broken leg or have blood gushing from their head and the commentators would still only refer to how they overcame Covid to compete.
The sports that are included seem increasingly stupid, bizarre even. I must admit that the BMX biking looks pretty terrifying, but is this really a sport or just some kids on bikes? It’s hard to tell, especially given that it is, in fact, just a load of kids on bikes. How did equestrianism, a long-standing Olympic ‘sport’ ever get included in the first place, and just WTF is going on in that velodrome?
The highlight of stupid sports, of course, had to be the breakdancing. First, why? This is yet another aspect of ‘yoof’ culture that has been elevated to the level of an Olympic sport. If this carries on, we’ll soon have e-scooter riding with handbag snatching or extreme vaping. You heard it here first. But what about the zero scoring ‘Raygun’ whose pale imitation of break dancing had the whole world in stitches. Even for something that is hardly a sport this Aussie woman, Rachael Louise Gunn, took it to extremes by doing something that was barely recognisable even as breakdancing. Described as a ‘seizure in a tracksuit’ by Simon Evans the ‘breaking federation’ which oversees breakdancing has offered her mental health support after she was ridiculed worldwide. Too late mate, I think she was gone long before her performance.
That said, it is probably time the IOC exercised their imagination and introduced a few new sports. I was going to suggest mixed sex boxing but, in fact, we already appear to have that. But let’s have more. Surely it is every misogynist’s dream to see a regular stream of bouts where women are sent flying across the ring with their jaws broken by a bloke. I’m sure that the feminist brigade would come out in force to watch this too, all in pursuit of equality of the sexes.
There seemed to be various kinds of shooting which hardly seems to be a sport, and which also makes very poor television. Perhaps if they introduced a category of drive by shooting it would add an element of excitement and open the sport to people from a wider social spectrum. I have an idea for pigeon shooting, by which I do not mean clay pigeon shooting, but I feel that the thought of turtle doves evaporating in a haze of blood and feathers may be too much, even for the readers of TNC.
And it has always been a mystery to me why the doggy paddle does not feature as one of the strokes in the swimming pool. I would pay to watch that.
Roger Watson is a retired academic, editor and writer. He is a columnist with Unity News Network and writes regularly for a range of conservative journals including The Salisbury Review and The European Conservative. He has travelled and worked extensively in the Far East and the Middle East. He lives in Kingston upon Hull, UK.
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How about Olympic ‘Speed Origami?’ Combative ‘Ludo anyone?’ Or there’s the even more violent Naval version ‘Uckers’ Could we in future be watching in absolute awe as some Black belt 3rd Dan Sensei treats us to a stunning display of Ikebana? o|—)
Introducing the machete class to the fencing would also encourage more diversity.
Don’t put ideas into their heads.
Why not incorporate ‘Miss World’ and ‘Miss Universe’ (but open to all ‘genders’ to compete) as it ticks two boxes for MSM and the International Olympic Committee – acceptable fashion/body ogling and the opportunity for competitors to air their wokism and sexual preferences in the essential interview stage. Of course it would be an Olympian struggle for North Korea and Iran (plus a few other countries) to actually win a medal, but with sufficient training and dedication….
IMO (but, to be honest, I’m really not that interested either way) this circus needs a rethink.
If it were up to me I’d go back to basics – the old Greek model plus a very limited number of additional sports – in a permanent facility located in Greece and financed by the international participants.
I would certainly exclude “sports” where the outcome is subjective.
The old Greek model was I think all nude….
In that case change the location to Siberia in the winter. That’ll sort the men from the boys.
But if bits freeze and drop off, it will only lead to more entries into the ‘womens’ events surely?
But if it was in the winter, we would be comatose from watching endless curling.
Probably to ensure that men didn’t sneak into the women’s events.
Having seen some of the entrants, I don’t relish the thought of nude shot putting.
…………… come to think of it, I’m going off the whole idea.
We watched/ listened to none of it. It is yet another distractive ‘bread and circus’ PR event, designed to distract the gullible electorate from reality whilst the arrogant autocratic globalist ruling elites and their establishment servants continue to whittle away unseen at our basic freedoms. And who really pays for it?!
“Tom Cruise jumping from the stadium roof. The event was marred only by the fact that he was attached to a wire”. Priceless! Some wonderfully facetious suggestions, too, from your readers!
It all just goes to show what an utter face the whole modern Olympics now is. Just like its ‘musical'(?!) counterpart, the Eurovision Song Contest, it has lost its way in extravagant waste, wokery and virtue signalling and needs to be totally revsied and reimagined. Barry’s suggestion to cut it back to athletics and keep it in Greece seems the optimum way forward.