“Why can’t a woman be more like a man?” sang Rex Harrison in My Fair Lady. I doubt he would get away with it now. Imagine!
Why can’t a woman be more like a man?
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square;
Eternally noble, historically fair.
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat.
Why can’t a woman be like that?
I can’t even think of the convoluted politically correct re-writing that would have to take place to make this song acceptable in today’s woke snowflake intersectionalist ultra-inclusive environment. Even transposing to “Why can’t a person who menstruates be more like a person who doesn’t?” still has deeply sexist undertones.
And then it came to me!
Rex could sing “Why can’t a man be more like a woman?” Surely that would fit. After all, a great many men seem to agree and, under the delusion that they have been ‘born in the wrong body’ (I mean, how is that even possible?) go to great lengths to try to become women. Except that, unlike women who all lack ambition and like to stay at home cooking and having babies, some of these men—described as transgender women—like to mix it with their new female besties and take part in their sports. This includes swimming, football, MMA (mixed martial arts) and weightlifting where, with the possible exception of weightlifting, they know that when push comes to shove, they can usually outswim, outfootball or beat the living daylights out of any female competitors. Real females, that is; ones who menstruate, have cervices, vaginas, proper boobs and the whole shooting match of feminine paraphernalia. I don’t know what the problem was for Laura Hubbard the New Zealand (where else!) weightlifter, but I am sure he’s great when it comes to carrying the shopping in or shifting furniture.
It is customary in articles such as these to offer some words of sympathy, understanding and inclusivity to transgender people and, indeed, here they go. While I think you are deluded and quite possible mentally ill (why else would gender dysphoria clinics and gender realignment come under mental health services?) if this is what it takes to make you happy and helps you to live your best life then go for it. Without prejudice I’d employ you, drink with you and defend you to the hilt (no euphemism intended) but I will not, and never will, accept that you are anything other than a man on hormones in women’s clothing. Indeed, many of your fellow transgenderites, such as the redoubtable Debbie Hayton, think likewise.
And I’m not finished. In living your new life have all the fun you want. In most countries you can get married and, in some places, you can even retrospectively alter your passport (just don’t let them strip search you on entering Saudi Arabia). But you must absolutely and without qualification or hesitation butt right out of women’s sports where having had years of testosterone coursing through your bodies with the attendant physical advantages that bestows gives you an unfair advantage. Put simply, it isn’t fair. Put another way, you’re cheating. Someone recently said, of the trans swimmer Lia Thomas that he had reached up to the top shelf and taken the sweets from his female competitors when he won a major 500 metre freestyle competition. Even transwoman Caitlyn Jenner says his victory in the recent swimming was unfair and the wonderful Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (who wouldn’t like to see him in the White House?) declared Emma Weyant (who menstruates) the winner of the NCAA Division 1 Women’s 500-yard Freestyle. By the way, did I just see ‘yard’ there? It’s nice to be able to deal a double blow taking in Remainers and transgender activists at the same time.
The majority of transgender women do not have their wedding tackle removed, as is the case with Lia Thomas, and many remain capable of achieving an erection as exemplified by the rape in prison of women (the real ones) by transgender women. By all accounts Lia Thomas has decided that he is not woman enough to have his dick whipped off (frankly, who would?) and I heard a rumour that he has quite a whopper. Understandably this is distressing for the other young ladies with whom he has to change. Words fail one when trying to convey just how wrong this is. Even if he had his winkle picked, he remains a man and no man should have unrestricted access to view the bodies of other females unless he is a gynaecologist.
But I do not despair. Frankly, I think that the Lia Thomas affair has had such publicity and very little of it in his favour that this madness may be coming to an end. Even if the Olympics goes totally woke and, as it proposes, abandons testosterone testing which will see the entry of transgender women into the whole range of competitions that were previously exclusively female, this will backfire I am sure. And it is discriminatory against transgender men (that is women who think they are men…do try to keep up) as they will be up against men. Bloody confusing, isn’t it? It is also discriminatory against junkies, I mean, why stop at testosterone? There is many a casual townie type in my city who, off their heads on crack, could outrun anyone. They regularly outrun the police.
People may watch the Olympics if transgender women are able to compete freely out of curiosity, like folk once went to see P.T. Barnum’s circuses, but there will be outrage if transgender women start taking all the prizes. The saintly Ayaan Hirsi Ali suggested in UnHerd that it may be time to start holding a transgender Olympics. And why not? I predict there won’t be as many men keen to claim their stake on womanhood after that if they must compete against other men. That, and I am sure I am not alone, the fact that I would rather have gender realignment surgery than watch it. And a word in the shell like for old Rex Harrison, a legendary lecher; if you do come across a woman who is more like a man (wherever you are now) my advice is don’t go rummaging about in the undergrowth, you might get more than you bargained for.
Roger Watson is a retired academic, editor and writer. He is a columnist with Unity News Network and writes regularly for a range of conservative journals including The Salisbury Review and The European Conservative. He has travelled and worked extensively in the Far East and the Middle East. He lives in Kingston upon Hull, UK.
