Welcome to another edition of the Frank Report (yes I know they are relentless, but at least I shall snuff it one day and then no doubt you’ll realise your fondness for them). As Queen Elizabeth lies-in-state and the nation enters its second week of mourning, we are reminded of the importance of choosing our icons carefully.
While we focussed on the almost universal outpouring of public affection last week, it is important to remember that the ugly head of wokery is never far from the vicinity. Most anti-British ponces suckling on the public teat had the ‘good taste’ to forego an immediate attack. However, the sharper-eyed amongst them have now noticed that Her Majesty was in fact white; not only that, but being dead, she is now fair game as far as they are concerned – it’s just too good an opportunity to miss.
Still, you can’t keep a good woman down, and it heartening to see that Her Majesty, much like Margaret Thatcher, has the ability to wet the beds of the most vitriolic lefties, even posthumously.
Leading the charge (and the stockpiling of Pampers) is Pennsylvania ‘professor’ of critical race and discourse studies, Uju Anya, who celebrated The Queen’s death thus:
I heard the chief monarch of a thieving, raping genocidal empire is finally dying. May her pain be excruciating.
Hot on her heels is radio star Em Rusciano (I know, who?!), who claims that mourning the Queen is ‘white privilege’.
In the toppling of statues, the rewriting of history, and the slander of our heritage, the left are crystal clear in their intention to destroy everything Britain ever stood for – it is perhaps unsurprising then, that The Queen appears to have become their latest target. Shitstirrer-in-chief, Oprah Winfrey, was quick to comment on Her Majesty’s passing with effortless tone deafness, as she hopes ‘burying the dead’ will help Prince Harry and Meghan Markle make ‘peace’ with the royal family. Naturally getting Meghan back to centre stage should be everyone’s top priority, but still these words were a little too reminiscent of Oprah’s infamous comments about older white Americans:
There are still generations of people, older people, who were born and bred and marinated in it — in that prejudice and racism — and they just have to die.
Seeing as Britain clearly hasn’t the wit to come up with a symbol sufficiently intersectional, and noting that George Floyd is getting a bit long in the tooth, the left have decided to choose the next British icon for us.
Auditions are being held as we speak. Making a good case for himself in the early running is Chris Kaba, shot dead by police last Monday. The media are of course relying heavily on the usual soubriquets of ’24-year-old unarmed black man’, ‘up-and-coming musician’ and ‘soon-to-be father’, whereas the reality is a little more run-of-the-mill.
Kaba was a gang member and convicted felon (four years for possession (and discharge) of a firearm ‘with intent to cause fear of violence’). You couldn’t find a nicer fella though. All he did was refuse to stop for police when his number plate was linked to further firearm crimes; led plod on a high-speed pursuit; refused demands to exit his vehicle 12 times when cornered, then drove directly as an officer, who responded appropriately. It’s quite an achievement to get shot by police in Britain, where coppers usually defend themselves with a truncheon and the latest colours of Maybelline, but full credit to Kaba; he managed it.
Naturally, the MET have thrown the officer under the bus by suspending him, and are marshalling all their resources into investigating whether ‘race was a factor’; despicable cowardice. You will not find anyone harder on the Old Bill than me, but what precisely are they supposed to do? Refuse to police anyone other than humdrum, Marks and Spencers clad honkies, and when crime then hits evermore epidemic proportions, turn around and say ‘stop and search is racist’? Is it any surprise all they do is parade in high heels and perform shit interpretive versions of the Macarena? Why would you bother doing your job properly, when the management never has your back?
Of course, the usual suspects are milking it for all it’s worth:
Jeremy Corbyn: We cannot live the pain felt by his family, but we can support them in demanding #JusticeForChrisKaba.
Nadia Whittome: An unarmed 24-year-old was shot dead by police. It shouldn’t have taken an entire week for the officer to be suspended. There needs to be a proper investigation and accountability for this death. My thoughts are with Chris Kaba’s family.
Diane Abbott: ‘I don’t know how I would feel if it was my son killed in cold blood. Let us remember, this is not the only black man gunned down. When is the Met police going to stop killing men in cold blood?’
There was markedly less interest from the Labour benches regarding the two police officers stabbed in Central London this week, because no one has yet worked out a way to monetise white victimhood. On the upside, at least they should avoid investigations for racism, provided they go the whole hog and actually get killed next time.
In Britain, there remains a very vocal section of the community that not only desires but demands police be on their knees at BLM rallies, turn a blind eye to Muslim rape gangs, and wherever possible get stabbed / shot / run over by black criminals, because the optics now matter more than the reality. It is the reason crime’s best friend, Sadiq Khan, can express ‘no confidence’ in Cressida Dick, while mysteriously clinging to power himself. Pay coppers a million quid a year, and you still wouldn’t get my application.
With the left currently as happy as a pig in shit, the rest of the nation got on with paying their respects. Despite the 30-hour, 5-mile queues, high and low have turned out and are continuing to turn out for the great lady. Notwithstanding the odd celebrity queue jumper, it is heartwarming to see some doing it properly. David Beckham notably snubbed the opportunity to use the VIP route, and shuffled along with the plebs for 13 hours (although with Posh Spice rehearsing her back catalogue at home, perhaps that’s understandable).
It’s not all been tears and solemnity however, as anti-monarchists have made their presence felt. While protestors being arrested for signs like ‘Not my King’ are ridiculous and wrong, it is ironic that the left have suddenly found their love for free speech. Remember, ‘There are only two genders’, ‘It’s ok to be white’ and ‘Transwomen aren’t women’ are still unpardonable hate speech.
There are also fears that Her Majesty’s coffin is no longer safe, as police arrested a man for trying to touch the casket. Naturally suspicions turn to President Macron, whose necrophiliac tendencies are well-documented across Europe. Fortunately for Emmanuel, the Elysee Palace have confirmed he has an alibi.
Not to worry – The Queen’s grandchildren have been standing vigil over her body. And if the hypermasculine figure of Prince Harry doesn’t reassure you (the only known member of the Royal Family to have failed to keep watch over his own testicles), then nothing will.
While the nation’s attention is elsewhere, the Covid industry are making their move for another bumper winter. Cases are ‘starting to go up again’ warn the experts, but not to worry – you can now get your booster and flu shot together! Never mind that the vaccines show negative efficacy after five months, but also destroy your natural immunity. Don’t fret about Denmark banning the use of Covid vaccines for people under 50, as the ‘benefits are too low’. Pay no attention to the increase in heart attacks in women under 50 – doctors can’t understand why, and that’s surely no reason for you to start putting two and two together.
The fact is, the Covid scam is running out of steam, and the baton has not been successfully taken up by any successor. Despite celebrating its first case in Ukraine, the monkeypox never really got off the ground. The NHS is on its knees, with millions forced to go private. Even the zealot Jacinda Ardern has been forced to drop mask and vaccine mandates in New Zealand. The last roll of the dice for the Covid mongers is surely the mile-long queues to visit Her Majesty – the ideal breeding ground for the next bullshit variant if ever there was one. And if the pandemic pushers don’t take advantage of it, then they are bigger fools than they took us for these past two years.
Speaking of scams, the overwhelming benefits of illegal immigration are beginning to lose their lustre too. A recent survey in Sweden has confirmed the 4 in 5 ‘refugees’ have holidayed in the countries they fled from. New UK Home Secretary, Suella Braverman, has promised to ‘stop all small boat crossings’ – a tall order she will do well to live up to. And the wealthy residents of Martha’s Vineyard got a shock when Florida Governor Ron De Santis decided to ship a few migrants their way. Left-wing multimillionaire politicians may love immigration, but they seem almost wilfully incapable of enjoying the benefits themselves.
In other news, a new survey reveals that 85% of Canadian academics are left-wing – which presumably means Jordan Peterson counts for at least 15% of them? Only slightly more left-wing than Canada is China, who are busy opening ‘unofficial’ police stations in Britain to hunt down dissidents. They are allegedly operating from innocuous locations like Chinese restaurants, so be careful to carry your little red book the next time you pop in for a beef chow mein.
Halle Bailey, the actress playing Ariel in the latest remake of ‘The Little Mermaid’ has been praised for looking exactly like her, except for the fact that she is black. Beats me why Disney didn’t use Meghan Markle, who’s black or white depending on how much racism you can leverage from either colour, so it’s a win-win.
And finally, LBC presenter and walking aneurism, James O’Brien, has landed himself in hot water after he got sherbed-up in Kettners and reportedly told Reform Party leader Richard Tice and ex-LBC presenter Maajid Nawaz to ‘Fuck off’. The altercation occurred after Tice offered to shake his hand, and O’Brien retorted: ‘No you can fuck off, you really can fuck off’, before adding to Nawaz, ‘You can fuck off too and go and kill some people’.
My opinion of O’Brien was already so low, that I welcome his candour. Instead of Nawaz subsequently playing the islamophobia card however, I’d love to know why O’Brien wasn’t offered out for a straightener – it might dislodge his head from his arsehole for a start.
That was Frank’s week.
Take care of yourselves, and remember – anyone who claims their icon is George Floyd, Mark Duggan or Chris Kaba, is either profiting from their death, or an imbecile.
