I have a love-hate relationship with football. I love watching a midfield player curve the ball into the penalty box so that it lands with missile accuracy on the head of a forward who then nods it into the goal. I love too the great amount of charity work that clubs do, which is underreported. What I hate is the intimidation of referees and the violence among a minority of fans. What I hate most, along with many others, is the fact that England’s men have not won a tournament since 1966. The thirty years of hurt which Skinner and Baddiel sang about in 1996 has had nearly another thirty years to fester. If England ever won the European or World Cup, the cathartic effect of victory would probably send the nation over the edge. It therefore is baffling as to why former manager Gareth Southgate, whose reign was winless and who resigned after the recent World Cup, has been awarded a knighthood on the New Years’ Honours List. There are more undeserving people on the List such as Sadiq Khan, whose three terms as London Mayor have seen a sickening rise in knife and gun crime. Failure as a football manager is not comparable, of course, to the failure to stop homicides. But Southgate’s inclusion is nevertheless questionable, since it rewards mediocrity when England’s men desperately need world-class management.
If we look at Southgate’s record, we see that in eight years, despite having favourable draws in three major international tournaments, he has won nothing. Admittedly, he took England to two European Championship finals and the semi-finals of the World Cup in 2018. And yes, this makes him the most successful manager since Sir Alf Ramsey who deservedly bagged a knighthood, because his team won the World Cup in 1966. But arguing that Southgate deserves his award misses the point of being a football manager which is to win trophies. It is like contending that someone is a successful mechanic because he nearly fixes cars.
Southgate’s defenders try to protect him by pointing out the other qualities he has that do not include winning. The Football Association chairwoman Debbie Hewitt congratulated Southgate on his award and said it was well-deserved because Southgate had brought the fans closer to the team, stood up for his principles, and inspired the players to feel proud about representing their country. All this is true, but being a nice guy who can create the feel-good factor is not enough for a knighthood. What is enough is turning England into a team that loves to play, is a delight to watch, and has at least a second trophy in the cabinet.
It is arguable that Southgate’s tenure as manager has introduced a new torture for England fans: the agony of almost winning. Italy and Spain were England’s foes at the 2021 and 2024 European Cup finals and of the two, Italy were beatable. The final against Italy ended in a draw, but the anguish was compounded by the familiar misery of losing a penalty shoot-out – something at which Southgate the player failed in the Euro 96 semi-final loss to Germany. Spain admittedly were superior to England and the defeat was deserved, though matters were not helped by Southgate’s reluctance to substitute an out-of-form Harry Kane.
Southgate has been replaced as England manager by Thomas Tuchel, who has an impressive record in the German, French and UEFA Champions’ League (). Let us hope that Tuchel can defy the grateful loser mentality of the likes of Debbie Hewitt, and make England a ruthless outfit. If he does not, then at least England’s women are worth watching. Football finally came home in 2022 when the Lionesses won the women’s European Cup by dispatching Germany 2-1.
(Photograph: Number 10, CC BY 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons)
Peter Harris is a freelance writer.
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The UK Honours system is so devalued that anyone accepting one only demonstrates their sheep like tendencies. No one, full stop, whether humble lollypop lady, lovey actor or top Civil Servant should be ‘honoured’ for simply doing their job – it’s frankly an insult to everyone else and these days (maybe always?) the equivalent of a gold star on one’s homework and acknowledgement of teacher’s pet status.
I’m afraid I’ve become completely cynical about the whole thing. It seems to be another part of the game played by the “swamp” (or bog dwellers as I like to think of them) to maintain their positions in the “elite” club. Sadly, I suspect there will be deserving cases for some kind of public recognition but the baubles have become so tainted I believe many of us just sneer at the charade.
Good observation, yes I think sneering is increasingly becoming the thinking person’s position, but accepting a meaningless bauble is still unfortunately the default equivalent of once putting CofE on official forms for most of the indigenous population (and for the non-indigenous a symbolic foothold into the establishment with both assimilation or destruction from within options).