Keir Starmer: All Mouth and No Trousers 

Like the opening scene from Reservoir Dogs (if you assume the dogs had undergone a charisma bypass), Keir Starmer has taken to filming himself striding along the international thoroughfares – as though marching into battle against illegal immigration. First up was this Thursday’s meeting with Europol in The Hague, accompanied by Shadow Home Secretary Yvette Cooper; followed by a visit to the Global Progress Action Summit in Montreal, alongside willing sidekick and Shadow Foreign Secretary, David Lammy.

https://x.com/Keir_Starmer/status/1702742900012888481?s=20

The Labour leader’s puffed-up chest was complimented by considerable bluster: Starmer claims ‘smashing’ the criminal gangs should be treated ‘on a par’ with terrorism. While one should never doubt the tough talk of ‘beergate’ Keir, it’s hard to avoid the suspicion that the violence of the rhetoric is directly proportionate to the lack of sincerity – particularly since Labour has not only consistently been in favour of open borders, but has also repeatedly attempted to block government solutions to the small boats crisis.

In essence, the Starmer ‘plan’ to bring immigration under control, is for enhanced cross-border cooperation: in exchange for an EU-wide commitment to accept the return of illegal immigrants, Starmer is willing to sign Britain up to an annual quota of refugees. In other words, it’s the customary immigration double-shuffle: repackage criminals and economic migrants as asylum seekers, and everyone’s a winner.

To demonstrate his readiness for the fight, Starmer has referenced his experience as head of the Crown Prosecution Service from 2008 to 2013: “As Director of Public Prosecutions, I went after dangerous criminals to protect the British public. And I delivered. I’ll do it again.” But this is unlikely to aid his cause. While the evidence suggests Starmer was not directly responsible for the failure to prosecute Jimmy Saville, he was head of the CPS at the time, and he did apologise publicly to victims. He was also in-charge during some of the worst cases of Muslim grooming gangs, and again had to apologise to the victims; hardly a stellar record.

And its one no one is falling for, least of all the EU. Brussels bigwigs have ridiculed the notion of a bespoke repatriation deal for Britain, while the Tories have claimed such quotas would mean a minimum of 100,000 immigrants per year. Attempting to deflect attention away from the quotas, Yvette Cooper has insisted the focus would be on returning children to their families in Britain – those who currently have no safe legal route to do so. But surely, such an argument is undermined by the propensity of Britain’s illegals to claim to be children themselves? Even the formidable figure of Emily Thornberry could only roll her eyes when pressed by Channel 4 on the question of a return agreement, ‘what happens if the EU doesn’t agree to one?’

The overarching problem for Starmer is that, much like the Labour Party, his credibility on immigration is shot to pieces. It was Labour who opened the floodgates back in 1997, and Labour who have done their best to keep them open (admittedly, with little to no resistance from the hapless Tories). Starmer is hardly anti-immigration, so what’s he really up to?

A credible theory is that with the next general election virtually in the bag, Starmer is using his tough talk as an excuse to cosy up to the EU, with a view to re-joining at a later date. This would explain his desire to negotiate with Europol rather than Interpol, his acquiescence to quotas, and his blatant disregard of Brexit voters, who are unlikely to be fooled by his anti-immigration charade. Starmer has insisted he has no desire to reverse the 2016 referendum, but with open solicitation of deeper ties with Europe, it’s hard to take that seriously.

With the next general election likely less than a year away, such jockeying for position on the major issues is likely to become an increasing feature of the landscape. The sad fact for the British electorate, is that there has never been less to distinguish the two major parties. The only thing the socialists have on the menu is second-helpings of open borders, fiscal irresponsibility, and woke nonsense. Starmer’s Labour is unlikely to be much better. The opposition leader has already admitted that there is little difference between Labour and the government on immigration, while the Tories are just as willing to realign with the EU, given half a chance.

The only thing which seems to vary, are the excuses. Under the Tories, the police are so brow-beaten they eschew crimes like looting in favour of policing tweets; under a Labour government, looting would likely be decriminalised in all but name. The Conservative government carps that laws prevent them from getting tough on the small boats crisis, and that the asylum backlog must be cleared by an amnesty; Starmer’s Labour will merely repackage illegals with an official stamp from Monsieur Macron, and a promise to keep the numbers down a bit. Plus ça change.

Anyone who actually wants genuine change at the next election is going to have to look elsewhere to cast their ‘X’. It’s unclear at this stage how serious an alternative the Reform Party is, but then perhaps opting for seriousness might not be the best move. How about a vote for the Monster Raving Loony Party? It couldn’t be any worse than the status quo, and at least you’d get to watch the country go to the dogs in style!

This piece first appeared in The European Conservative, and is reproduced by kind permission.

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