How Deep Is Your Trough?

Ennobled by Tony Blair, Lord Waheed Alli was the first ‘openly’ gay member of the House of Lords. He also claims to be an ‘openly gay Muslim’ which not only seems like a contradiction in terms but, if he bumps into the wrong kind of Muslims, also a life-shortening strategy. I guess he doesn’t have to mix with too many people, such are his riches (net worth estimated to be £200million).

It seems, if you are the right person, there is no trough so deep that Lord Alli will not fill it for you: from dressing the Prime Minister and his wife to paying off debts of other peers already caught up in expenses scandals, and providing a penthouse for the Prime Minister’s son to study for his GCSEs. Naturally, daddy had to stay there too, for a month after the GCSEs were taken. There is just so little room in those £2million town houses in Kentish Town.

Rumours are that Mrs Starmer booted him out for a while due to his involvement with Lord Alli, but quite what part of his involvement is not clear. Surely Sir Keir and Lord Alli can’t be ‘involved’? We await confirmation and, with the record-breaking rate at which scandals engulf this present government, we can’t have long to find out. Presumably the matter of Lord Alli’s Downing Street pass will come under scrutiny.

Certainly, the Starmers do not seem like the closest of couples; Sir Keir can’t even plant a kiss on his wife’s lips properly (hilarious take on Talk TV). Perhaps he needs some (more) new specs. And what is all the public handholding about? It seems forced and artificial.

Undeniably, Mrs Starmer is a ‘handsome woman’, and what she is doing with a dullard like Keir Starmer is a mystery. Unless she is only in it for what she can get. Her nickname ‘Victoria Sponger’ may well be apt. She certainly seemed to be enjoying herself at the (free) Taylor Swift concert (both times), while Sir Keir regularly accepts corporate hospitality at football grounds* lest he encounters the hoi polloi.

The Starmers are not alone in the present government in accepting hefty donations to prop up lifestyles which seem at odds with their ‘socialist’ principles. There certainly seems to be some redistribution of resources going on, but it only extends to the already rich and powerful from the extremely rich and hopeful. If this is ‘real socialism’ then count me in, as my long-standing adherence to conservative principles has not yet brought me such privilege.

But what about the main donor to the bottomless pit that is the trough of the Labour Party? Unless he is an exceptionally nice chap (I know!) nobody gives money to politicians and political parties without seeking something in return. Quite what that ‘something’ could be is not yet clear, but it may emerge if the House of Lords Commissioners do their job properly.

However, it has emerged that Lord Alli had been operating in the shadows for quite some time. In 2013 he visited Syria and had close links with President Assad; the possibility exists that he was instrumental in persuading the then Cameron government not to go in hard against Assad. While there may have been some logic in not going in hard, given what was likely —and is still trying—to replace him, the fact remains that Assad is a thoroughly evil dictator, and why Lord Alli should be so close to him is a mystery.

And it goes back even further to 2005 when, at Blair’s behest, he visited what was left of Iraq with the intention of influencing the post-war election there in favour of a candidate endorsed by the Blair government. The attempt failed and the candidate flopped, but what the gayest of gaylords thought he could achieve in a fundamentally Islamic country where people of his persuasion will now find themselves behind bars is another mystery.

Probably Lord Alli is addicted to power and to the powerful. With a peerage and a fortune under his belt there can be little materially or in terms of status that he lacks. He has clearly made friends and possibly influenced people with his largesse, and it is harder to be closer to the future (now present) Prime Minister than buying him specs and suits and likewise his wife including, possibly, her underwear.

But now the tide has turned. Starmer, whose judgement has been called into question has paid back some of the gifts and hospitality received, but still appears to be defending his decisions to accept gifts and accommodation. It surely can’t be long before he disowns Lord Alli though, especially if his own career is in danger. Lord Alli trying to purchase power and favour is one thing, but there are few things more vicious than a ruthlessly ambitious politician with no conscience trying to hold on to that power. Lord Alli, it is probably time to find another trough to fill.

*Declaration of interests: your correspondent has accepted corporate hospitality at football matches. Verdict: ‘It was great!

Roger Watson is a retired academic, editor and writer. He is a columnist with Unity News Network and writes regularly for a range of conservative journals including The Salisbury Review and The European Conservative. He has travelled and worked extensively in the Far East and the Middle East. He lives in Kingston upon Hull, UK.

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