Frank Reports

Welcome to this week’s Frank Report, where in a break from tradition the UK constabularies …

Welcome to another Sunday edition of the Frank Report, where regrettably the laughs are a …

Also making the news was the Caliph of Londonistan, Sadiq Khan (peas be upon him), who is determined that the State provide free school meals to every primary school pupil in London from September. ‘The cost of living crisis means families and children across our city are in desperate need of additional support’ said the mayor. When it was pointed out to him that there wasn’t anything ‘free’ or ‘ethical’ about taxing families on the breadline to feed the children of millionaires, Khan is rumoured to have replied ‘It’s only £130M ffs, that’s not even a week’s worth of transgender propaganda!’

There was an interesting incursion into the free speech debate this week, as Taliban leader Anas Haqqani appeared to endorse Elon Musk over Mark Zuckerberg. ‘Twitter doesn’t have an intolerant policy like Meta’ Haqqani wrote, while live-streaming his latest bombing. ‘Sure, we cut people’s hands off and burn them alive if they step out of line, but at least we don’t harvest their data’. 

It’s been a bumper week for Britain, as the nation’s premier sacred cow celebrated her …

In a move branded ‘genius’ by City Hall insiders, loveable Londoner, mayor Sadiq Khan, has promised to slash knife crime by issuing his own range of ‘peaceful’ switchblades. ‘Knife crime is caused by discrimination’ Khan confidently told The Guardian this week. ‘It’s unfair that not everyone can afford the latest zombie knife – that is, after all, essentially what knives are – a fashion statement. If everyone’s carrying the same shank, they won’t feel the need to use it’.