Diversity in Islamabad

The New Conservative, always quick off the blocks with the latest news, has a scoop. Let us be the first to announce the appointment of former Rotherham resident Percival Thistlewick as the new Mayor of Islamabad.

The appointment has sparked controversy, as Thistlewick does not speak Urdu or any of the other languages used in Pakistan. And, with his thick Yorkshire accent, even locals who are fluent in English are struggling to understand him. Naturally, the appointment has proved controversial. But, as explained by an Islamabad Town Council spokesperson, the elected councillors have a right to appoint their own leader. The public has no right to vote on the matter.

The spokesperson continued: “here at City Hall in Islamabad we take our commitment to diversity and the representation of minorities seriously. The election of Mr Thistlewick as our leader is a clear demonstration of that commitment.”

Thistlewick, the son of poor migrants to Pakistan, epitomises what migrants can achieve in their adopted country. His parents, fleeing the oppressive regime in South Yorkshire, England, arrived illegally in Pakistan having travelled across Europe, into the Middle East, and finally arriving in Saudi Arabia.

From there they were smuggled into Oman and crossed the Arabian Gulf on a small boat to Karachi. Along with hordes of other migrants from England and Europe, they were met by the Pakistani Border Force and, after many cups of tea and a supply of warm blankets, were housed in the Karachi Hilton. Eventually Mr Thistlewick senior, having become a naturalised Pakistani, found employment in the very border force that helped him to safety, and can still be seen checking passports at Karachi International Airport.

Percival Thistlewick gave his first press conference only minutes after the announcement of his appointment. Questioned about his ‘foreign accent’, he said that it was the result of living in a series of South Yorkshire enclaves established in cities across Pakistan. “I never really mixed with the local people. Their culture was very different from ours.” As strict Yorkshire parents, Thistlewick’s senior did not encourage him to mix with the local children.

Questioned about his policies, Mayor Thistlewick pointed to his record on representing minority communities, especially people of whiteness, during his career in local politics. He was one of the people appointed to the Pakistani Government Commission into Christianophobia, and has continued to advise them.

He was instrumental in helping to draw up the official government definition of Christianophobia, and was especially pleased to see it brought onto the statute books earlier this year. On the issue he says: “If anyone thinks that Christianophobia is not a real thing, then they simply have not experienced what I and many from my community have experienced.” He recalls as a small boy being bullied at school by local children, made fun of for going to church on Sundays, and for what he now knows to define as, ‘expressions of Christianess’.

Asked what his priority will be at City Hall he replied that he was looking forward to working with colleagues in his new capacity. Asked if there would be any changes within City Hall that could be attributed to him, he replied: “That is a hard question. We have already achieved so much as a council to create a pleasant and harmonious environment for fellow councillors and employees of City Hall. We already have gender-neutral toilets where both men and women can feel safe, alongside copious supply of free tampons in each cubicle. Both men and women need never go without this essential item. There is no ‘period poverty’ at City Hall.”

He was asked about rumours that he wanted to introduce non-Halal options on the menu in the canteen but refused to be drawn on the issue. He refused to confirm rumours that he had requested Melton Mowbray pork pies be introduced, or that he wanted to install a bar selling a selection of Yorkshire bitters. “Watch this space” was all he had to say.

Naturally, parallels are being drawn on social media with the appointment of Councillor Rukhsana Ismail, a Muslim woman of Pakistani parentage, to the mayoralty of his hometown Rotherham. He pointed out that, in fact, Councillor Ismail, despite wearing the hijab, was British having been born in nearby Sheffield.

Asked, in that case, why she had chosen to record her first message as mayor in Urdu and not in her native English, Thistlewick refused to be drawn. He also refused to be drawn on the issue of the potential insensitivity of appointing a Pakistani to such a prominent position in a town which had until recently housed a particularly active Pakistani Muslim rape gang.

Later, on the day of his appointment, and in response to a flurry of social media posts related to the issue, Thistlewick issued a statement: “I wish Rukshana Ismail well in her mayoralty of Rotherham. She will have an uphill struggle, as a woman of Muslimness, against the oppressive fascist regime operating in the United Kingdom. My only suggestion is that we meet soon with a view to twinning Islamabad with Rotherham. After all, I am sure that Rukshana would have much to learn from how we run things here. My officials are working on the arrangement as we speak.”

Roger Watson is a retired academic, editor and writer. He is a columnist with Unity News Network and writes regularly for a range of conservative journals including The Salisbury Review and The European Conservative. He has travelled and worked extensively in the Far East and the Middle East. He lives in Kingston upon Hull, UK.

If you enjoy The New Conservative and would like to support our work, please consider buying us a coffee or sharing this piece with your friends – it would really help to keep us going. Thank you!

Please follow and like us: