The announcement that the SS Great Britain is to be rebranded because some visitors may misunderstand what the initials ‘SS’ stand for is one of those stories that initially appears too ridiculous to be true. Surely nobody could seriously believe that one of Britain’s most famous ships is somehow commemorating the slave trade?
Surely somebody, somewhere in the chain of decision-making, would point out that SS means ‘steam ship’? Apparently not.
We live in an age in which ignorance has acquired a peculiar authority. Once upon a time, if you misunderstood something, the solution was to learn. Today, if enough people misunderstand something, the thing itself must be changed.
The logic is impeccable. If a visitor mistakes SS for ‘slave ship’, then the ship is the problem, not the visitor. If enough people are confused by history, language or context, then history, language and context must give way. The consequences are potentially limitless.
Take King’s Cross Station in London. Clearly this is problematic. It privileges monarchy and Christianity simultaneously. In a single place name, it manages to offend republicans, secularists and anyone who has ever suffered from a difficult relationship with organised religion. Why should modern Londoners be subjected to such a burden? The obvious solution is to rename it Democratic Transport Hub Number Four.
Then there’s Victoria Station to deal with and Charing Cross. Thankfully Paddington was named after a Peruvian Bear and Waterloo commemorates Abba’s triumph in the 1974 Eurovision Song Contest.
What about The Black Country? Traditionally the name referred to the soot-blackened landscape of the Industrial Revolution. But why let history intrude on contemporary sensitivities? Once we abandon original meaning, all that matters is how a word sounds to somebody who knows nothing about it. A rebranding exercise is surely overdue. Perhaps ‘The Region Formerly Known as the Black Country’ would suffice until a properly inclusive title can be developed.
Food presents an even greater challenge. Spotted Dick cannot possibly survive. Entire teams of safeguarding officers are probably already drafting reports. The fact that it is a traditional pudding is irrelevant. What matters is that somebody, somewhere, might snigger. In modern Britain, that is sufficient grounds for intervention.
The Flying Scotsman is another obvious target. Flying? Scotsman? The first term is one of the reasons we have net zero targets and the second risks stereotyping an entire nation. Better to call it the Rapid North British Locomotive and be done with it.
There is no logical stopping point. Black cabs become Historically Dark-Coloured Vehicles. First-class railway carriages become Differential Comfort Zones. Manhole covers become person-access covers (actually, I think that has already happened). Chess masters become Experienced Chess Practitioners. The Big Bang becomes the Large Cosmological Expansion Event. Black holes become gravitationally diverse regions and dark matter becomes matter of underrepresented visibility.
The common feature in all these examples is not just malice, but the abandonment of meaning. Words and names acquire significance from their history and usage. Once that connection is severed, any interpretation becomes as valid as any other. Ignorance ceases to be something to correct and becomes something to accommodate.
Imagine where this process ends. A government-funded quango is established to review historical abbreviations. Its investigators discover that HMS could be misread as ‘His Majesty’s Slaveship’. Immediate action is required. A further £2.4million is allocated to determine whether the Royal Navy should henceforth be known as the Maritime Inclusion Service.
The UK itself is deemed problematic, because some focus group participant believes it stands for Unacknowledged Kingdom. Emergency consultations are launched.
The principle differs only in degree from that being applied elsewhere. If misunderstanding is sufficient reason to change a name, then every name is vulnerable. If ignorance becomes the standard by which language is judged, there is no word, phrase or historical reference that cannot eventually be condemned.
The truly remarkable thing is that all this is presented as enlightenment. The reality is the exact opposite. Civilisation depends on transmitting knowledge from one generation to the next. The woke impulse increasingly works in reverse: instead of teaching people what words mean, it changes the words to accommodate those who do not know. We have reached the point where the cure for ignorance is no longer education; it is rewriting the dictionary.
Roger Watson is a retired academic, editor and writer. He writes regularly for a range of conservative journals including The Salisbury Review and The European Conservative. He has travelled and worked extensively in the Far East and the Middle East. He lives in Kingston upon Hull, UK.
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At a time when everyone (almost without exception) has access to free information on their mobile, we seem to have reached peak idiocy whereby some instead choose to be offended by the most innocous of things and DEMAND change.
I was always told ‘I wants, never get’, perhaps that notion has been deemed too unaspirational?
A marvellous piece, as always. I recall becoming aware of the first inklings of this puerile re-naming nonsense in the late 1970s when the name ‘Manchester’ was argued to be “discriminatory and sexist”! The virtuous progressivism has grown remorselessly ever since. Patrick Moore (of blessed memory) satirised many early examples of the re-naming trend in his amusing book ‘The Twitmarsh File’.
The above article is entertaining, to say the least. Some hilarious examples of the ongoing idiocy are insightfully summed up at the beginning of the piece with the observation that “We live in an age in which ignorance has acquired a peculiar authority.” And, who can disagree with the conclusion that contrary to previous practice where, “if you misunderstood something, the solution was to learn, [t]oday, if enough people misunderstand something, the thing itself must be changed.” Priceless! But while it lends itself to comedy, it is worrying, too, that people in supposedly high places in society push this baloney, as do people who consider themselves to be educated. So, it really is concerning that this kind of nonsense involving rewriting language and history, is being accepted and/or promoted by those who should know better, but clearly don’t.
Roger’s final paragraph sums up the state of things really well, and is worth repeating – I’ll finish by so doing:
“The truly remarkable thing is that all this is presented as enlightenment. The reality is the exact opposite. Civilisation depends on transmitting knowledge from one generation to the next. The woke impulse increasingly works in reverse: instead of teaching people what words mean, it changes the words to accommodate those who do not know. We have reached the point where the cure for ignorance is no longer education; it is rewriting the dictionary.”
Well – absolutely spot on – said!
Two examples you’ll readily appreciate (there are many more).
1 – Fewer young people are interested in Christian church going of the CofE & Catholic varities. Response, erase tradition and complex language to make it ‘accesible’ to youth, but don’t try to educate youth to appreciate and understand what was once core. This though doesn’t work and alienates traditionalists and especially those no longer youthful.
2 – Ethnic minorities aren’t interested in visiting castles, stately homes and historic sites. Response of National Trust/Historic England etc. Desperately reinterpret (or invent) the lost stories of ethnic minority contributions to each site.This also doesn’t work as it alienates indigenous visitors and supporters and fails to accept ‘newcomers’ just don’t relate to the heritage of hosts.
Spot on, Martin – certainly with example #1. Reminds me of what GK Chesterton once said: “It’s not that Christianity has been tried and found wanting – it’s never been tried”.
the Modernist Meddlers will be shown the door sooner rather than later, in my humble opinion.
As for example # 2 – again, nail on head. Two very good additional examples which, summed up, mean that nobody with even half a brain is fooled by these attempts at rewriting language/reinventing of history.
“Food presents an even greater challenge. Spotted Dick cannot possibly survive. “ There is a cafe in Poole who’s owner has renamed that dish Spotted Richard!!