British Airways Goes Full Sharia 

In a move which is bound to outrage frequent flyers, the airline British Airways (BA) has decided that it will no longer serve alcohol in its business and first class lounges and, also, will no longer provide bacon, sausages or black pudding at the breakfast buffet in its first class lounge at Heathrow Terminal 5.

A spokesperson for the company, Mr Muhammad Ali Khan, announced that after due consideration and after extensive meetings chaired by BA’s head of lounge catering Mrs Fatima Sayed that the decision was taken due to the high proportion of Muslim staff working in the lounges. Mr Khan said: “It is no longer appropriate to serve alcohol and items of food of which Islam does not permit consumption (haram).” He continued, “Many of our staff consider alcohol and pig-based products unclean and offensive. Moreover, Islam does not permit the consumption of blood based products, therefore black pudding is considered double haram.”

BA Chief Executive Sean Doyle was unavailable for comment, but his PA Ms Khadija Qureshi confirmed that she approved the decision. Ms Qureshi added that Mr Doyle was keen to make BA a more “inclusive flying experience” and the food and alcohol restrictions were just the start of a major programme of inclusivity drives.

Questioned about what further changes were envisaged for premium flyers, spokesperson Mr Khan explained that many Muslim customers were raising complaints about the service of free alcohol in business, first class and premium economy (BA no longer serves free alcohol in economy). In response, the company was considering restricting the availability of alcohol on flights if Muslim staff or flyers were on board.

“We already restrict the service of nut-based products if someone is on board with a nut allergy. We consider that the same should apply to alcohol when Muslim passengers are on board. It is only logical.” said Mr Khan. Apparently, pork sausages may no longer be served at breakfast in-flight if Muslims are on board.

The New Conservative was able to contact the spokesperson, Mr Miles Cartwright, for FlyerTalk: British Airways Forum, the largest online discussion group for BA frequent flyers. “Naturally, our members are outraged at this change to the availability of food and drink in the lounges. It is nothing short of a religious minority tail wagging the dog of a major corporation. Our president Mr Oliver Tierpoint will be making representations to the BA board as soon as possible.” said Mr Cartwright.*

On the other hand, Muslim staff working in the lounges were delighted at the change. Hamza Malik, who works in the BA lounges at Heathrow Airport and who was one of the activists calling for the change, said: “We came to this country not to blend in or assimilate. We came to impose our culture, and this is another fine example to fellow Muslims of what can be achieved.” He added that the aim was to extend this ban across all airlines operating out of Heathrow and beyond.

Lord Auld, head of the Free Food Union was approached for comment and had this to say: “We at the Free Food Union are naturally concerned at the announcement by BA. We intend to support our members who are BA customers and, especially, frequent flyers. We have appointed one of our senior case officers who is liaising with FlyerTalk British Airways Forum. I will, of course, be raising this matter in the House of Lords.”

As we went to press, we are unable to confirm rumours regarding proposed architectural changes to Heathrow Terminal 4, the terminal from which most flights to the Middle East and South Asia depart. In anonymous information provided to one of our reporters, an informant claims to have seen plans to add a minaret to the side of Terminal 4 and to cover the whole structure with an Islamic mosque-style dome. It is also rumoured that Sir Norman Foster, who has domed several buildings around the world, including the Reichstag in Berlin, is tipped to be the designer.

*The New Conservative wishes to dissociate itself from any prejudicial comments made by Mr Miles Cartwright of FlyerTalk: British Airways Forum and to indicate that we have reported him to the Metropolitan Police on the grounds of committing a non-crime hate incident.

Roger Watson is a retired academic, editor and writer. He writes regularly for a range of conservative journals including The Salisbury Review and The European Conservative. He has travelled and worked extensively in the Far East and the Middle East. He lives in Kingston upon Hull, UK.

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