Last March we were devastated to learn that The New Conservative had not been included in the 2025 annual report by Hope not Hate. We looked enviously across the divide between the hopefuls like us and the lucky ones such as Unity News Network, TCW Defending Freedom and individuals like our good friend and ‘failed academic’ Dr Niall McCrae. Where was our entry, we wondered?
Naturally, as we reported last March, there was much consternation in the boardroom and the editorial offices. As I write, the editorial team is holed up with our financial backers at a secret location in the Italian Alps, having been flown in by a convoy of private jets. It makes Davos look like a kids’ birthday party.
The anonymous multimillionaire financiers behind The New Conservative have told us that they will take a very dim view if we are not included in the 2026 Hope not Hate annual report. We have assured them that we are doing everything we can to ensure that we are not overlooked this time but, equally, we are assured that heads will roll down the Italian alps if we are. On the other hand, we are promised massive bonuses all round for a mention of TNC in the 2026 report, and promotion to board level for any of the team who are mentioned by name.
Surely, we feel convinced, we must have emerged on the radar screen of Hope not Hate. After all, we have been as consistently offensive as possible to any groups we consider are undermining our culture and destroying our western values. And we do not discriminate. We are equally offensive to Muslims as we are to liberal Roman Catholics.
Climate change activists get taken to task regularly as do politicians of all parties. Reform, a particular concern of Hope not Hate, have been given a good press (but we are also critical). And, to show that we are really trying, our editor Frank Haviland has interviewed such hate-filled luminaries as Toby Young, Mark Steyn, Ben Habib, Richard Tice and Ann Widdecombe. For balance, there was also our (piss-take) interview with Humza Yousaf. What else can we do?
We have been relentless in exposing the many hypocrisies, mismanagement and economies with the truth of leading virtue signaller and all-round hypocrite, London Mayor Sadiq Khan. Surely that, alone, merits an entry? To the likes of Hope not Hate, assorted international luvvies and anyone who is detached from the reality of the rapes, muggings and stabbings on the streets of London, he is quite the pin-up boy.
As for our ‘page three girls’ Shamima Begum and Greta Thunberg, don’t get me started. These icons of the liberal establishment have regularly featured on our pages where they have been ridiculed and castigated.
We have tried to be ever more inclusive in our extremism. Diversity, after all, is supposed to be our strength. So, we have broadened our targets, criticised a wider selection of sacred cows and offended an ever more representative cross-section of modern Britain. If that is not a contribution to social cohesion, it is hard to know what is.
Still, the silence from Hope not Hate is deafening. Not even a footnote. Not a passing mention. Not so much as a small paragraph tucked between the usual suspects and the inevitable list of social-media accounts with six followers and a Union Jack avatar. It is enough to make one wonder whether the selection process is as rigorous as we are led to believe.
Maybe, in our enthusiasm to be offensive to absolutely everyone, we have failed to specialise. The modern extremism industry, like any other, rewards niche expertise. One must pick a lane: anti-immigration, anti-Islam, anti-climate change activism, or anti-pronoun. We, in our reckless egalitarianism, have offended across the board. It may simply be too confusing for the researchers.
Nevertheless, we remain hopeful. The jets are fuelled, the bonuses are pencilled in, and the boardroom guillotine is being polished to keep us on our toes. With luck, determination and a few more offensively worded articles, 2026 may yet be the year when Hope not Hate finally notices us.
Roger Watson is a retired academic, editor and writer. He writes regularly for a range of conservative journals including The Salisbury Review and The European Conservative. He has travelled and worked extensively in the Far East and the Middle East. He lives in Kingston upon Hull, UK.
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No mystery here, I asked my friend Eppy to bung Hope Not Hate a few quid to keep TNC off the naughty list. Seems he set up a standing order and forgot to cancel it whilst being strangled, how typical!
I have messaged the bastards at Hate Not Hope and told them to get their fingers out of their arseholes! ;o)