As you may or may not be aware, there are malicious rumours circulating about the ‘anti-white speech’ Humza Yousaf delivered to Holyrood on 10 June 2020. Of course, nothing could be further from the truth. Yousaf, then Justice Secretary, was merely taking part in a ‘Showing Solidarity with Anti-racism’ debate, and was keen to demonstrate his anti-racist credentials. Sure, he spat the word ‘white’ 19 times in less than a minute, but that isn’t because he hates white people – on the contrary, it was the understandable shock at discovering a preponderance of whites in senior government positions, in a country which is, after all, only 96% white.
For those who have not seen it, here is the short video taken completely out of context:
Keen to assuage any unpleasantness, and to offer a right of reply to Scotland’s new First Minister, The New Conservative caught up with Humza earlier this morning, and asked him what he made of the social media outcry:
Editor: First Minister, welcome and congratulations on your new appointment. Are you aware of the video circulating on social media, which some have taken to be indicative of your anti-white agenda?
Yousaf: Yes, I’ve seen the video. It’s totally insane, nothing could be further from the truth – some of my best friends are white.
Editor: Can you understand though, why some people might be concerned about you mentioning the word ‘white’ 19 times in such a vitriolic manner?
Yousaf: Not really. Sadiq Khan’s managed to get the white population down well below 50% in London, so we’ve clearly got a long way to go in Scotland.
Editor: Many people have praised you for the diversity of your cabinet. Clearly it was a conscious decision of yours to promote more women, and in fact achieve the first female-majority cabinet in Scottish parliament history?
Yousaf: Sure. Women are OK, as long as they know their place – you’ll notice I didn’t let any of them pray with us in Bute House.
Editor: Yes, that was duly noted, as was your decision to get sworn in wearing a shalwar kameez rather than a kilt.
Yousaf: Look, I don’t get what all the fuss is about. I’ve seen all that Braveheart propaganda, but the truth is most Scots are crying out for a bit of diversity, and some of these white bastards aren’t even trying. I mean, all the women in my cabinet – I’m not sure they’ve got two cocks between them.
Editor: Assuming it’s the case that you’d like to see more diversity in high office, could you explain to our readers why you are the only non-white member of the cabinet?
Yousaf: Frank, it’s not for want of trying – there’s simply too much whiteness everywhere. It’s not just the most senior positions in Scotland filled exclusively by those who are white. Take my house alone: the shirts in my wardrobe, white, the sheets on my bed, white, every one of my teeth, white, the milk in the fridge, white, the rice in the cupboard, white, toilet paper, white, every one of my bones, white, toothpaste, white, whitening toothpaste, whiter than white, every sheet of paper white.
And not just inside my house. Go outside, and there’s even more of the stuff: sheep, white, seagulls, white, icebergs, white, old people’s hair, white, dandruff, white, almost every cloud in the sky, white, and every f**king snowman you see, white. That is not good enough.
Editor: Well, you’ve certainly made that clear.
Yousaf: You’re looking a wee bit pasty yourself, what are you doing in Scotland?
Editor: I think we’ll have to end it there, thank you First Minister.
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