The New Conservative has barely been live a month, but we’ve already had more than our fair share of teething problems. Having said that, there have also been some unexpected benefits. First of all, it’s refreshing to have MPs suddenly willing to reply to your queries. Secondly, a magazine brand does seem to open doors in surprising places. But most of all, the slightly wider reach of our message means the Left’s woke Stormtroopers are now coming for our blood.
These assaults usually take place via the sewers of Twitter, by the tolerant Left in all their glory. Those who ridicule the mild patriotism of ‘flagshaggers’ and ‘little Englanders’, but feel naked without their pronouns, FBPE hashtags and EU flags. Those who detest labels, but cannot resist the temptation to add you to delightful lists such as ‘muted political nutters’, ‘right-wing arseholes’ and ‘racist gammons’.
Yes, the joys of hate mail. I fondly recall Richard Dawkins reading his in the wake of The God Delusion, and realise that there are some pluses to take away. In a sense, there’s something quite endearing about those who loathe you or your viewpoint to the extent they demand you know about it. The only shame is that they immediately block you upon delivery; thereby robbing you of your right to reply, and the potential to disabuse them of their oft-mistaken beliefs.
I thought then I would take the opportunity to reply to some of the more readable ones:
Why are you wearing your f***ing Nan’s jacket?
- My f***ing wife bought it for me, and I think I look f***ing fetching.
(On Prince Harry and Meghan) Hate one of yours for marrying someone different? Harry is probably happier that you lot.
- I seriously doubt that, I’ve seen autopsies with more joie de vivre than Harry.
You’re an absolute danger pal
- Ok, pal.
You people should be ashamed of yourselves but then again, you people don’t know shame. Colonialism showed us that.
- Little bit before my time, but thanks for thinking of me.
What an absolutely vile thick headed individual you are.
- That’s nothing, you should see me when I’m off duty!
F*** you you f***ing f***-faced c***! The world don’t need anymore f***ing white supremacists like you!
- Try the decaf.
So which part of Russia are you from? We know you are a fake account.
- Skint enough, but couldn’t take the cold or the vodka.
(On the quality of my prose) Conspiracy theory rubbish which purports to explain in detail the idea that we are all being manipulated but instead highlights the authors deep paranoia and lack of research outside of his echo chamber.
- Only some of which is true.
(In response to a recent piece which objected to the relentless promotion of LGBTQwerty)
i am a gay female and i saw you nasty remerk against the lgbt, first , were here to stay , 2nd we are EQUAL wether you like it or not , 3rd, some conservatives are also gay , so why dont you grow up and acknowledge gay and lesbians ? The whole world is not straight and i have epored your most bigotd post, as this is one tory you have grossly offended ! Why should we celebrate our lives , simple, because gay men used to be put to death due t hatred such as yours , as for ay wmen and i speak as one, no wonder we dont fancy men like you !!!!!!!!!!!!!! and hell, you should be ashamed of yourself promoting hate speech ! Were her to stay so stop your hetro hate. lgbt are EQUAL
- Illiteracy aside, I agree with most of that. What I would say is that the battle for gay rights might be better off outside the mosques, and the Saudi Arabian / Chinese embassies, rather than with those who think public funds have more pressing demands than police cars, zebra crossings, and university flagpoles.
Keep ‘em coming, they brighten up the day!
